


I Will Be Tender & Violent All At Once

by HavokDroid



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HavokDroid/pseuds/HavokDroid
Summary: You, Number Eight, find yourself coming home under unfortunate circumstances, your adopted father is dead and your siblings all gather, you ran far away from the academy a long time ago but find yourself having to stay when your brother reappears from the future.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> At the end of the world  
> Or the last thing I see  
> You are  
> Never coming home  
> Never coming home

You woke in the morning to your tv softly playing some news report you weren’t awake enough to hear yet.  
The first thing you realized is that you were cold, and an onion smell was in the air, your fried rice from the night before was on your coffee table.  
You rubbed your face, you felt gross, you ended up falling asleep before you could shower after work last night. Your joints cracked as you stood up, stretching, your neck aches from sleeping on the couch, you trumped off to your bedroom to hop into your personal shower.  
  
You were clean and tidying your apartment when a call came to your phone, you let it ring, you’d let the machine take it.  
You were scrubbing a dish as a voice you hadn’t heard in years rang through your apartment.  
_“(Y/n), it’s me, I don’t know if you’re home or not but we need to talk, it’s kind of important.”_  
You had no idea why he’d be calling, you’d all went your separate ways, tried to lead normal or rather just your own lives, you had no interest in whatever problem Hargreeves had created.  
Your eyes lingered back to the tv, the news was still on, but you didn’t realize what was happening until your adopted brother's voice came through the answering machine.  
_“Dads dead.”_  
You dropped a plate back into the soapy water in shock, it splashed and waded amongst your silverware as the message continued despite your confusion.  
A picture of your supposed father graced your television as reports of his death crossed the screen.  
_**“Reginald Hargreeves was reported dead as of late last night, details are still arising..”** _ _  
_ _“Pogo was going to call but I thought you should hear it from me if you hadn’t seen the news, everyone’s heading home-“_  
Your machine cut him off, the phone rang again moments later but you slammed it down into the receiver, you didn’t want to hear anymore.  
That old bastard was actually dead.  
That should’ve been the most shocking thing, but you were more surprised by who called.  
Diego sounded so tired.  
You were in a whirlwind all throughout your house, finding your big suitcase, packing as much as you could, you didn’t know how long you’d need to stay.  
Why did Diego call? Where did he get your number? Pogo did have it for emergencies, did that mean he was already at the academy? He said Pogo would call, he didn’t need to, you didn’t want to hear his voice, you shouldn’t have let the machine get it.  
God, why did you have to hear his voice?  
You were rifling through your clothes when you came upon it.  
Your costume.  
Your anxiety died down a little as you saw it, something about it was comforting, purely nostalgic really. You knew you should have it in a storage unit or something, you could even sell it on eBay, you’d get a load of cash for it, but when you’d moved in you’d just crammed it away.  
It was completely black, your siblings and you used to have to tote around in these things after your father grew tired of your boarding school uniform aesthetic, he went more for practicality after all the injuries you sustained.  
Or maybe he was tired of paying for the embroidered blazers and sweater vests who knows.  
You picked up your old mask, placing it to your face, it was a little small, your chest ached to remember just how young you’d all been. Something in you was almost sad that those days were over, no part of you missed Hargreeves, but you missed your family.  
You’d never truly be all together again and that’s what hurt the most.  
You tossed the articles down, your drawer was now empty, your suitcase stuffed to the brim, you rushed out of your apartment, leaving a note for your neighbor to feed your cat, as you had a family matter to attend to.  
You threw your junk into the back of your red Volkswagen Fox and took a moment to yourself. You pressed your forehead to the steering wheel.  
You hadn’t been to that house in years.  
You hadn’t really seen anyone from the academy in years.  
_“..Thought you should hear it from me.”_ _  
_ Your throat choked up at the thought of seeing Diego, hearing his voice had been too much already. But a funeral was a funeral, you’d go if only to see that bastard was really dead...And pick up any pieces from the unavoidable fray that would be involved with all your siblings being in the same room for more than ten minutes.  
You psych yourself up getting ready, you had an hour drive back, everyone stayed closer to home but you’d run off a just a tiny bit further.  
Some old song started blaring from your radio as you fixed the directions to head down the road.  
  
You parked in the alley, the air felt like the sky was readying itself to rain, you’d just dropped your things off at a motel. You fixed your coat, you looked around the alley and realized another car was parked outside already, you were a bit late.  
It was approaching the afternoon now so everyone was likely already there.  
Those who were willing to show at least.  
You walked in the house, it was eerily quiet until you realized one of your sisters was sitting on the steps.  
Vanya.  
She looked up as the door opened, realizing it was you she stood to greet you.  
“(Y/n), you’re here, we weren’t sure you were going to show.”  
You kept quiet a moment, you had very mixed feelings after your sister released her book, on one hand, you understood the fact she needed to be heard, but also the fact she revealed things that were not hers to reveal.  
Things you’d once told her in confidence, she’d hung you out to dry in her memoir, basing almost a whole chapter on you including the title. You decided to keep your cool, there was no warmth as you responded.  
“Where are the others?”  
Pogo was nowhere to be seen, he was likely downstairs in the cellar or another one of the many rooms and passages in your childhood home.  
“We’ve all just been settling in..some are upstairs, kitchen, we’re all scattered like old times.”  
“You know a lot about old times.”  
Vanya bit her lip.  
“I deserve that.”  
“You deserve a lot more, but I don’t want to waste the breath.”  
You sat at the bottom of the steps, you came here because you felt like you needed to, but you spent so many years away your feelings had been neatly tucked away and hidden, now you’d had to reopen the wound that was your family.  
You were this close to leaving already and you’d barely walked through the door.  
Vanya sat down next to you.  
“(Y/n), I know you’re angry, I didn’t mean to come off so harsh but I’d been angry and on a roll, as the memoir continued-“  
“Like that’s an excuse to reveal my deep darks? How my power works? Not only did you embarrass me, but you also put me in danger...I haven’t seen you in years for a reason I don’t want to fucking talk about it.”  
“(Y/n)-“  
“I’m serious! I trusted you and you stabbed me and our siblings in the back, I get it you wanted to tell your side but you dragged us through the mud in the process.”  
Vanya was very quiet, you both just sat in silence, bitterness and tears welling within you, but then a song floated through the air.  
_“I think we’re alone now..”_ _  
_ You recognized the tune, likely something of Luther’s, he had a bigger record collection being dads favorite and all he was allowed far more privileges than the rest of you.  
You were still angry, but you nodded your head along, Vanya joining you.  
Before you knew it she was dancing like you weren’t there, it almost put a smile on your face.  
Almost.  
You’d loved Vanya, and you still did really deep down, she was your sister you’d been close once but you felt hurt.  
You’d felt hurt by this whole family that’s why you’d went away.  
The song continued but halted suddenly as a charged energy crossed through the air throwing everything off.  
“What the hell-“  
Suddenly everyone was rushing outside, there was a giant blue surging hole in the sky, you didn’t know how to react.  
“Don’t get too close!”  
Allison held Luther’s arm as if to stop him from braving towards the hole.  
“No shit!”  
Diego stood tall next to Luther as they both tried to get the answer to the problem solved before the other, even in times of crisis it was a competition to them.  
Luther pondered something about black holes and quantum anomalies but you saw something poking, even trying to stretch through the opening.  
“Everyone get behind me!”  
You’d gone unnoticed in all the commotion, no one took their eyes from the hole.  
And then suddenly, as if being rebirthed, your brother fell through.  
“Is it’s just me, or is there a tiny number Five?” Klaus queried  
“Holy shit.” You whispered  
  
Five had explained to you all that he’d returned, he was unimpressed with the future and even more so with your father's death.  
“Circle of life.” He’d casually thrown to you all as he took his leave of the kitchen.  
You needed to get away and think when you noticed that Diego was staring at you, you'd said nothing to one another, you hadn't even truly looked at him until now.

His dark eyes bore into yours as if questioning if you'd have the nerve to approach him.

You denied him, leaving quickly up the stairs.

 

You sat quietly pondering, this was exactly why you’d left, you hadn’t even been here a day and unnatural events were finding you.  
You knew you'd have to speak to Diego eventually, but you didn't intend to let that train of thought leave the station right at this moment. You imagined your house at this hour, you'd left in such a rush, you hoped your neighbor would scratch Pickle’s chin before he fed him, he always loved that.

You were homesick already, you had intended to stay as long as needed, you thought there might be a burial, but your father had been a paranoid man, you’d faced the undead before and you supposed he saw it better to burn to ash than to rot in a box.  
His ashes were to he spread later today, you could likely head back to your hotel after and leave by morning if you truly wished.  
Most would think it more convenient to stay in your childhood room, but you refused to sleep in this place, it was too harsh on you.  
Your mind flashed to hot pain and agonized screams that couldn’t even be fully formed in your torture.  
You rubbed your face, you’d leave in the morning, anything to get the hell away from this place.  
Everyone slowly made their rounds to you, Allison had been soft-hearted and greeted you kindly and you tried to return it as best you could, you both were never truly close but there’d never been bad blood there.  
Luther had said hello, you briefly caught up, nothing but shallow small talk, you’d both been away and didn’t have much to share.  
Diego was nowhere in sight.

Klaus was handsy immediately as he landed next to you on the couch.  
“You missed the whole who done it, Luther thinks dear old dad was killed.”  
“By one of us?”  
Klaus laughed  
“Unfortunately, the big lug has it in his head that since his monocle is missing obviously one of us took him out.”  
Klaus was one of the few siblings you kept up with currently, Vanya had been too up until five years ago when she’d released her book, Klaus tended to stay with you.  
You lived far but if he called and asked for a bus ticket you rarely refused him, he showed you yet another of many 30 day chips, you wished it would stick, but something about the glossiness of his eyes made you doubtful as he flung his arm around your shoulders and spoke in faux drama of the pain and mourning of your father's passing.  
“How shall we go on without our emotionally dead father, now dead for real.”  
You laughed at that, he said something about searching for a drink as he fluttered off.  
Five and Vanya spoke as they looked upon his portrait. He approached you slowly after learning of Ben’s death, he seemed to have known, claiming he’d read Vanya’s book as well, but it was hard to truly hear it you supposed.  
“(Y/n).”  
“Hey, Five.”  
He sat next to you, his eyes raking over you fully.

“You’ve grown.”  
You laughed  
“So has everyone else, and you’re an old man up here.”  
You poked his forehead, he rubbed it in irritation, but there was something nostalgic in his eyes.  
“I never thought I’d miss your unwarranted contact.”  
“You can just say poking, using all those fancy words makes it look like you’re trying to be smart, weren’t you always one for effortless sophistication.”  
You saw a small smile you hadn’t seen since you were a child, you and Five had been close well before he disappeared, you’d never say it out loud but you favored talking to him over the others more often than not.

Well minus Diego but that was something of a completely different nature.

Five always had something cool and collected yet wild and young about him, he was brilliantly smart and talented, and God help the world because he knew it too.

He seemed so old now, his appearance didn't' give away to it, but rather his eyes.  
They looked like aged sea glass, green and clear, but their depth gave age to their gaze.  
“You’ve been gone too long Five.”  
“I tried my best, it took years, but I came home didn’t I?”  
You nodded, your eyes stung seeing him, it was as if he never left.  
You hugged him tightly, he begrudgingly returned the sentiment.  
“Good to have you back buddy.”  
“If that’s your idea of a nickname for me I suggest you change it.”  
You laughed out loud as you let him go.  
“Technically you’re my little brother now so I can call you what I like.”  
“I have almost 30 years on you!”  
His voice cracked and you howled, Five scowled, you were one of the few who could always make him lose composure.  
He’d missed you.  
  
You were getting dressed for the funeral, you’d brought clothes in your car, knowing the rushed outfit that adorned you just wouldn’t do.  


It felt odd to be standing in your old bedroom, your sheets had been freshly made, likely moms doing when she heard you all would be coming home, she was sweet that way. Your posters remained up, you chuckled remembering how much you’d favored British men singing of their sorrows, your father hated The Cure and the poster you’d pasted up of their frontman but you kept it up specifically to spite him. Your desk was organized, your journal and old doodles still tucked safely within the drawers, undisturbed and your small knickknacks laid across your shelves.

You picked up a piece of rubble you’d pocketed in Paris, it had been a wild day dealing with the Eiffel Tower and all, you still remembered how excited Ben had been for the ice cream.

You sighed at the memory, looking yourself over in your sleek closet door mirror.

You buttoned your shirt and tightened the laces of your black balmoral boots before you slid on your black duster jacket, a sudden knock came to your door.  
You swallowed, not wanting to open it.  
Only two had yet to speak to you today, it was a gamble to open the door.  
“(Y/n), are you almost ready?”  
You sighed in relief, thankfully it was just Pogo.  
You opened the door smiling down to where he would be as you realized Diego stood alongside him.  
“Master Diego wanted to check on you, I accompanied to see to you as well.”  
You were uncomfortable  
“Thank you Pogo... I just have to grab my umbrella and I’ll be right down.”  
Pogo nodded and descended down the stairs.  
Diego did not follow.  
“You look nice.” He said  
He was dressed in his typical vigilante get up, but at least had the courtesy to cover it with a cargo jacket, he was in all black but this was a funeral after all, and Diego was no stranger to a colorless wardrobe.  
His hair spiked the same way you remembered, his jaw set like he wanted to say something but was keeping it under lock and key by biting his tongue.  
The scar on his left side still traced from above his ear, and the smaller cut above his right brow stood out to you, it was something you hadn’t seen last time you saw him.  
It’d been almost six years since you’d laid eyes on him.  
Five since you’d spoken.  
Five since Vanya’s book.  
Five years since your secret was revealed to the world.  
“Not so bad yourself, the vest might be a bit much though, don’t want to overdress for a simple affair like this.”  
He smiled lightly at your chide, you thought if you could deflect your negativity with humor maybe you could make it out of this interaction without saying something you’d regret again.  
Things just tended to slip off your tongue and get you into trouble.  
You hadn’t truly spoken since he read your chapter.  
“Is this a new thing with your hair? It was blue last time I saw you.”  
You’d been going through a bit of an alternative phase at the time, you’d wanted to do everything you’d been denied as a child, so you dyed your hair a crazy color and worked in a bar, you drank expensive coffee and smoked with guys with cheap skateboards.  
Your hair was now back to its natural color, but you’d left the top a bit longer while getting a simple design shaved into your scalp.  
“Just something I’m trying thought I’d cool it on the dye for a while..”  
your eyes crossed your room to your clear umbrella, it was large with a white handle.  
You realized Diego didn’t have one.  
“Where's your-?”  
“Don’t need it, I’ll take you down..if you’re okay with that.”  
“I think I need a minute alone..before really facing this.”  
Diego gave you a hard look.  
“It’s been six years, can’t a guy walk you down some stairs?”  
He was trying to sound nonchalant but you saw something old and meant to be put away in his eyes, your gaze trailed to the floor.  
“A guy can’t, but my brother can.”  
Diego looked away from you.  
He put his forehead against his forearm on your doorframe, his jaw clenching as if he was trying not to yell.  
“You said you didn’t see me like that.”  
“Diego I was 16 then, we grew up together, we have the same last name-“  
“We’re fucking adopted (Y/n), we share nothing genetically, you can’t keep avoiding this-“  
“We share a family, a birthday, we aren’t having this argument again Diego, we had it a long time ago.”  
“You ran away before we could finish it.”  
“Diego just fucking go downstairs-“  
“You’re even avoiding me right now! You move away, I haven’t laid eyes on you for six whole years! How am I supposed to-“  
“This isn’t the time! Everyone is downstairs and this isn’t the place or time Diego, goddamnit, you don’t know when to stop and that’s why I haven’t talked to you!”  
You pushed past him and rushed downstairs, there was something broken in his expression as you yelled at him, Diego was a hard and steely man to most, but you knew how tenderly he felt about those he cared about, his eyes would always soften for your mother, he’d always comforted and protected you growing up.  
You’d felt your heart break all over again as he called down the steps to you.  
“(Y/n), please.”  
You ignored him and pushed through your raging feeling, you continued to descend the steps.  
  
Everyone stood around looking upon Luther as he dumped your father's ashes onto the ground.  
“Would’ve been better with some wind..”  
You could’ve laughed if it wasn’t for all the tension within you.  
He was truly dead.  
Hargreeves was dead.  
You didn’t know what it was, it wasn't quite sadness nor relief, your father had been a cold and unloving creature, he’d made you and your siblings into soldiers, meant to save the world and never truly have lives of your own.  
You think the sadness truly stemmed from the fact that the relationship, the approval, the potential of him maybe giving you closure of any kind for his terrible and unjust way of raising you was now gone, snuffed out.  
All that remained was this pathetic pile.  
Pogo was speaking but you weren’t listening, when all of a sudden Diego piped up.  
“He was a monster.”  
Klaus laughed and you were almost shocked, but if anyone was to open their mouth in protest of what might be considered a respectful memorial for Hargreeves, it would be Diego.  
“He was a bad person and a worse father, the world's better off without him.”  
“Diego-“ Allison attempted to chide him  
“My name is number two, do you know why? Because our father, couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names.”  
Diego didn’t want to stop anyone from paying respects where they were due, but he also demanded honesty for your father's crimes and flaws, he’d never been a good man in your eyes.  
He fed and clothed you but also destroyed you on a daily basis.  
Years of therapy had barely helped you, how do you explain to someone that your father put you through hell just to see what it would do for the rest of the world.  
You spoke up before you could lose your nerve.  
“He made us into superheroes, we honed our skills with his training. But dad never praised us unless we put down someone else in the academy, never was proud unless we’d beat someone into a pulp and smiled brightly for television cameras, he made us all into a perfect picture but the pain bleeds through the back, the stains of his sins will never be wiped from any of us. Hargreeves was never a good man and I detest the fact that we are carrying his name.”  
Luther looked livid.  
“Diego, you did this, stop talking.”  
Oh here we go, you knew exactly what was going to happen, Luther was shifting the blame to Diego, so your brothers were going to fight.  
Diego egged Luther on and they were off, punches were thrown, you called to both of them but it’s was fruitless, Klaus encouraged the entertainment.  
It all came to a head as Luther knocked down Ben’s statue, you were horrified as you saw his bronze head break off and land away from his body.  
Diego looked to you immediately, you glared, furious with the results of his hot-headedness.  
“Fucking children.”  
You turned and walked briskly inside, having enough of their antics.  
  
You resided in the kitchen, aiding Five in his search for coffee, you needed caffeine to calm down ironically.  
Klaus informed you of Diego slicing Luther's arm with his knife, you were appalled but you knew if Diego had meant to stab Luther, he would’ve been stabbed.

It was a warning wound, he likely realized he was going too far as it was happening, you grumbled as Klaus fiddled with the unplugged bass.

Allison came in searching for Vanya but she’d already left in a cab, you were planning to leave soon as well, get some rest in your hotel and book it home.  
“An entire square block, 42 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, and not a single drop of coffee.”  
“Dad hated caffeine.”  
Klaus joked about Hargreeves hating children as well, but he had many of you.  
Much to your misfortune.  
“I’m taking the car.” Five stated  
Everyone was confused but you realized he was far older, he must’ve picked up the skill in the future.  
“Where are you going?”  
“To get a decent cup of coffee.”  
You sighed.  
“I’m on my way out anyway Five, I’ll take you if you want I came in my car.”  
“You can join me if you like, but I’ll drive myself, I need to clear my head for a bit, I’ll be at Griddy’s.”  
You smiled at the familiarity, your family’s old haunt, Hargreeves trained you all in stealth and escape tactics, hard to keep children like that from sneaking out.  
“Wouldn’t miss it, I’ll meet you there in a bit.”  
He nodded and spacial jumped, you heard a car start from the alley outside the back door.  
“Alright, I guess I’ll see you guys in what? Ten years? when Pogo dies?” Diego questioned you all as entered the room.

”Not if you die first.” Allison quipped

“Love you too sis, good luck on your next movie, hope it turns out better than your marriage.”  
You wish he’d stop being so harsh to protect himself, Diego would rather push you all away than be loved.  
But that was somewhat your fault in a way, at least to a small degree.  
Allison left in a huff, you had to get to your car but that meant following behind Diego.  
Klaus pushed past you  
“Are we leaving?”  
Diego tried to deny Klaus a ride, but Klaus being Klaus, he acted as if he didn’t hear the rejection and wormed his way in, he turned back to get his things.  
  
Both your shoes crunched against the gravel of the alleyway, you went to your car but Diego reached out to you.  
“We need to talk, now, I don’t want to wait another six years to see you.”  
“Diego, let me go.”  
“Last time I did that you disappeared, but that’s your talent isn’t it? Unseen, untouchable,-“  
You phased your wrist from his hand, continuing to unlock your old shitty car.  
“Love the way you go from vulnerable to venomous in a second Dee, you haven’t changed a bit.”    
“Like you’re all sugar and honey.”  
You couldn’t unlock your door, your hands shook too much, this was the most you’d spoken to him in five years and you just couldn’t deal with him, you’d ended your last conversation in an argument, you’d made a decision and he just wouldn’t accept it.  
Your eyes stung and you sniffed, trying not to cry in front of him.  
You wanted to be held by him, close to him, it would make you feel safe but so ashamed, you’d shut this down years ago but your heart was so stubborn, refused to forget his touch.  
You were untouchable if you wanted to be, but you were desperate to feel him, that’s why you had to get away.  
“So that’s it then, you’re just going to leave again and I won’t see you until there’s another corpse to bring us all together-“  
“Why can’t you understand, I’m like this for a reason.”  
Diego didn’t relent.  
“You don’t have to be-“  
“Yes, I do! I do because if I let you in for even a second I will run all the way back to you and I’ll never leave, I can’t do that to our family Diego!”  
You started crying, you tried very hard to stop, Diego reached out for you, but both your attention turned to Klaus as he came into the alleyway.  
You phased through your car, plopping into the driver's seat as you jammed your keys in the ignition, Diego stared at you with longing through the window.  
You wiped your face and punched the gas, leaving him behind to tend to your brother.  
  
You sat with Five, he spoke nostalgically to you and the other man at the counter of your old habit of sneaking here, you smiled at the man's confusion as he covered both your coffees.  
“So that was quite the shit show.” Five mused you laughed.  
“Yeah, but when aren’t we a mess?”  
“Things seemed more cordial at the least when I was last here.”  
“We were still kids, still walking the line of being at each other's throats.”  
Five sipped his black coffee as you dumped sugar packets into yours.

“You moved, where?”  
You stared into your coffee.  
“I moved a bit away, about an hour, I own a bookstore so I don’t pop in for visits very often.”  
“It doesn’t seem like anyone comes to the academy to visit, I wouldn’t.”  
You felt like you were talking to an old man but somehow getting whiplash from your brother who’d disappeared sitting before you, unchanged and frozen at the moment you’d last laid eyes on him.  
“What was the future like Five?”  
He grimaced  
“I told you, it was shit.”  
“Who were you with, were you alone?”  
Five was silent.  
“Did you miss us? We missed you, I promise.”  
He looked at you, he realized you were still worrying like he’d disappear again if you didn't hover over him, you needed comfort and assurance, he wasn’t very good at that kind of thing, he never really had been, but he decides to be honest with you.  
“I did, very much, but I couldn’t figure out how to get back until now but I was always trying.”  
You smiled at him  
“Well better late than never, Vanya’s book must have caught you up to speed already I suppose.”  
“Yes, a bit exposing but it let me know how you all handle yourselves when I’m away.”  
You shoved his shoulder when suddenly Five looked up suspiciously.  
You turned to look where his gaze lead you but Five touched your forearm.  
“I want you intangible and invisible, get behind the counter, now.”  
You almost questioned him but you’d learned the hard way, when one of your siblings said something like this you just had to shoot first and ask later, you hopped over the counter and disappeared from his sight.  
The older man had left, several figures filed in, guns pointed at your brothers head.  
“I thought it’d take you longer to find me.”  
“Don’t make this difficult.”  
You didn’t hear much else as the gunfire started, you stood, you were intangible, invisible, anything you touched could be if you so willed it, but you had to use another one of your skills to help Five and you couldn’t do that on the floor.  
Your brother was stabbing a man when another moved to grab him in his distraction, you threw a forcefield his way, pushing the man back and through the window, Five seemed surprised but appreciative, he focused on the task at hand.  
You watched and helped where you could as your brother devastated his attackers.  
You were supremely surprised yourself, and curious where he’d gained the skills to become a one-man army, but at the same time you knew this was Five you were talking about, he was far older, who knew what he’d done in the future.  
The gunfire had ceased and all the men were dead.  
It’d been a long time since you’d seen a dead body, it wasn’t a glamorous part that magazines talked about but you’d all killed in the academy, not often or on purpose but it had happened, unfortunately.  
Your breath felt shaky as you looked upon gouged eyes and pooling blood, Five picked up what looked to be a tracking device.  
“What is-“  
“Quiet.”  
Five pulled up his sleeve and felt up his arm, you realized what he was doing as he pulled out a knife.  
“Quit that!”  
“I’m not a child (Y/n), it needs to be removed.”  
“Come here, you idiot.”  
You grabbed his arm, you touched his skin, making it intangible but leaving the muscle beneath solid. You dug around for a moment until you came upon a pill-sized tracker, blinking green in your fingertips.  
You both exited the diner, the police would be showing up soon and you didn’t care much to be there when they did.  
“I’m going back to my hotel, I need to shower after that.”  
“There’s not a drop of blood on you.”  
You stared at his blood-spattered collar, thinking of the fight is what made you need to shower.  
“I’m probably gonna head back anyway, I have to drive home in the morning.”  
“(Y/n) wait, you can’t leave town.”  
You looked at him quizzically.  
“Why not?”  
Five hesitated  
“Come by the academy in the morning, just trust me.”  
“Five-“  
“Just don’t leave town, trust me, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”  
It was hard to trust someone you hadn’t seen in over seventeen years, but you also knew Five wouldn’t ask you to stick around if it wasn’t important.  
“Okay, I’ll come by in the morning.”  
Five nodded, he space jumped and was gone, you headed back to your car, mind racing with questions and stomach growling.  
Maybe you could get a late night pizza.  
  
You’d gorged on junk to make up for your shitty day, you regretted it as you laid in bed, some golden girls episode you’d seen a hundred times playing quietly on the old tv, you were not a teenager anymore all those calories took a toll.  
You wanted to sleep, the day had been exhausting, seeing all your siblings again, seeing him again, you just wanted to forget the whole thing happened for a few hours.  
Your brain focused more on what Five had said, he was going to tell you something, you had no idea what.  
What had he seen in the future that was so important, it worried you incessantly, but you closed your eyes and tried to relax.  
You’d find out in the morning.  
  
Diego had dropped of Klaus and tried to investigate the scene at Griddy’s Donuts, but he been caught, Eudora tasered him, arrested him, and now he was just left with his thoughts as she decided what to do with him.

His thoughts were all over the place, he wanted to be back out there so he could get back to work on figuring out what actually happened, even if she wouldn't admit it Diego did help Patch more often than not. She confiscated his radio and police ID, he could get another cheap on eBay this wasn't the first time he’d been caught playing detective. He wanted to know why mom had the monocle, and he was still angry about Luther's accusation, only he would have the class to accuse his whole family of murder on the day of their father’s funeral. He regretted the fight, well almost, Diego never felt bad for going in on his brother, but the after effects weighed on his conscience.

The anger in your eyes watching Ben’s statue break into pieces, he couldn't get it out of his head.

He couldn't get you out of his head.

Diego wanted to say he wasn't still hung up on you, things between you happened so long ago, that everything he'd suggested today was purely of a brotherly nature but that would be a bold faced lie.

He thought he could keep his cool when you came back but the moment he saw you again his heart was in his throat and a fighting fire lit within him.

He’d fought to speak with you, but you were elusive, you wanted to forget anything had ever happened between you but he refused to do that.  
He’d tried, very hard, in fact, you’d both dated other people, he’d even loved Eudora Patch, in a completely different way, but they fell apart.  
They said it was because of their differing morals, they’d never really work together, and while that was true, Diego had a feeling Eudora had known his heart wasn't 100% hers. He hadn’t seen you up close in years, he wouldn’t tell you but he’d been keeping tabs on you, just to know you were safe, but you both hadn’t exchanged words until today.  
_“You don’t know when to stop!”_ _  
_ _“Why can’t you understand-“_ _  
_ _“I can’t do that to our family Diego!”_ _  
_ Diego held his head in his hands, everything felt so heavy on him, his heart ached, his father was dead, something was wrong with mom, it was all too much.  
You loved each other, you’d told him he was the love of your life once, now you were too scared to be near him because of that stupid book.  
Diego hated that Vanya had written it, it had caused nothing but trouble since it was published. They’d all been celebrities as superheroes so the tabloids tore into you for the chapter she wrote.  
And your relationship with him.  
You’d confided in Vanya about it, you’d been very close as kids and Diego had been horrified and furious to see what she’d written about you and him, everyone knew and you couldn’t escape it. You’d shut your relationship down when you were 18, you said you couldn’t continue living there and didn’t know if what you had was true love.  
_”I think I love you now, but what about tomorrow? What about when we're not clinging to each other to make it through living with dad? When we're not the Umbrella Academy anymore?”_

You said you’d never loved anyone but Diego but you’d also never been allowed to love anyone else, so you disappeared and he’d been heartbroken.  
He’d been young and too angry to know what to do, you stayed in contact, things were different being so far from one another, you were growing and changing, he visited you a few times and it almost gave him hope how you'd both act when you were alone, it was liked you'd been in a whole different world together where it didn't matter if you sat too close together or that you flirted a bit too openly, no one could breach the paradise that had been your apartment.

But even then you never let it get far, saying it was in the past, you both had to move on but that didn't mean you couldn't be close.

That was until the book, then you iced him out completely because he’d asked you one question.  
If you still loved him.  
He hadn’t seen you in almost a year at the time, your lives had gotten busy, he was with Eudora and you seemed to pull away because of it, you said it was just courtesy to her, but he felt more like it was jealousy. He'd called you after reading your chapter, he asked, you broke his heart again but didn't give him a straight answer.

You always tried to deflect and say you loved him like the rest of your siblings but he knew you felt differently about him, none of you were really siblings, you were all just people who had been crammed into a house and forced to survive together.  
He was older now and he knew he still loved you, all he needed was for you to say you were still in love with him and everything would be okay, you’d work it out together, he didn’t care what anyone else said he just wanted you.  
He sighed as he remembered the last kiss you shared, the way you’d smiled and told him you adored him, you’d been 23 and a bit drunk but he still cherished the memory of it.  
His heart felt empty and scorned, he didn’t care what he had to do, you weren’t going to slip through his fingers again.  
You were both finally going to finish this fight, he was going to find out if you still loved him or not, and get closure once and for all.  


Right after he got out of this cell.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're forced to confront who you've become as an adult and grasp at feelings you had in the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not much a poet but a criminal  
> And you never had a chance  
> Love it or leave it, you can't understand

Diego made his way towards Patch’s desk, her face held nothing but disdain and annoyance as she ordered for him to be un-cuffed.

“Thanks, Rodriguez.” The officer let him go with no answer but amused eyes, he plopped down in the chair and reached over to grab a report on Patch’s desk.

“So, did you talk to the tow truck guy?”

Patch snatched the paper away from him.

“Listen, the next time you interfere with one of my investigations, you so much as breathe on one of my witnesses or touch a piece of evidence I will charge you with obstruction of justice, you will do jail time, are we clear?”

“Damn Eudora, you need to calm down-“

“Don’t call me that.”

Diego knew his and Eudora’s paths crossed every now and then, but she was past being civil, they knew each other, he wasn’t going to stop doing what he thought was right and she wasn’t going to approve. He tried to not compare you two, but you’d both been the only people he was ever with and you’d both taken to shutting him out one way or another.

She chastised his childish behavior, it was a similar conversation to many they’d had before, she didn’t believe in playing superhero, she believed in rules and stood by them while Diego felt they got in the way, she denied his invitation to try it his way once again, she still let him go, Diego was sure he and Eudora would likely never be able to have a full relationship as much as he’d wanted it once but that didn’t mean there wasn't a tenderness there, they were still friends, Eudora felt irritated with him but he knew deep down if he ever needed her she would be there.

But right now, all he could do was go home.

 

You woke up feeling better, the clean smell of the sheets and the a/c’s low hum soothed you, you’d decided to get ready and head back to the academy, you had to pack up first.

You threw on your navy blue sweatshirt and some cuffed jeans, you grabbed your black high tops and laced them up quickly, your bag was re-packed and you’d made the bed, you left the room keeper a tip and headed out into the daylight.

The sun was shining but the air was still cold, you placed your bag back into your car and strolled back to the building to return your key to the front desk. Everything felt so odd, out of the body in a way, you could feel the wind in your hair, you knew your name and just how old you were, but everything smelled familiar and you felt so much younger than you were.

The cold always made you nostalgic.

You were still drowsy it is a bit early, you were still remembering the dream you had.

It was more of a memory.

17 years ago you and your siblings had made your debut as one of the world's first superhero teams.

You remembered getting ready that morning and feeling as if your whole life depended on the results of that day, your father would finally be so proud of all of you and stop being so hard on all of you.

Naive you know, but back then things were simpler, you still wanted to feel loved as any child does.

Mom had brushed your hair and straightened your tie, helped you put your mask on, you hated the feeling of the spirit gum against your skin but she assured you that you looked fine.

“My own little hero.”

You were sure she’d said the same thing to all your siblings, you were aware of your mother was a machine, she was programmed to be warm and loving but overlooked it your whole life, you loved her and she loved all of you, that’s all that really mattered.

Your adrenaline was up as you entered the bank, Allison made one robber shoot the other in the foot, he fell but not before shooting a spray of bullets, cracking one of the bank windows.

Another man stepped in, he tried to grab you by the shirt, but you only smiled as his hand slipped through your chest. You grabbed his gun, phasing it from his own hand, leaving him unarmed.

He tried to hit you, but you disappeared from sight, Luther grabbed him and threw him into a wall.

Everything went like clockwork, this was a game for all of you, see who could take out the most bad guys. Diego had been eager to show off a bit, you remember him bragging to you during for half an hour of free time the week before, he’d sharpened his knives and everything.

“Guns are for sissies, real men use knives!”

Most people wouldn’t be overjoyed to see their brother's knife hit its mark in a living person, but you and your siblings weren’t most people, far from it.

By the end of it, all the hostages had escaped, one of your brothers was soaked in blood and you all stood proudly on the steps as news cameras surrounded you.

You smiled wide next to Five, he looked smug while your brother Ben looked uncomfortable, you threw your arm around him, mom wouldn’t complain about the stains, she never complained about anything.

He tried to muster up a smile, you knew it was hard, his power freaked him out and all these people here weren’t helping. You, on the other hand, were giddy and amazed, all these people were here to see all of you, they were impressed by you, you’d saved the day!

You didn’t realize it back then, how terrible being a figure of the media could be, your sister Allison basked in the spotlight but it slowly chipped away at you.

 

You sighed as you got back in your car and began again towards the academy, a part of you wanted to get breakfast for yourself but you also knew Mom would likely try to feed you the moment you walked through the door, she smiled but seemed disappointed when she couldn’t cook for you.

You hadn’t seen her in years so maybe it would do you good to let her be your mom for a morning.

You continued to dabble in memories as you drive, your father had told you that debut would be the beginning of your lives, there was magazines, tv specials, comic books, and lunchboxes, you had been a phenomenon.

You thought all your hard work meant your father would finally love you but that was not the case.

He worked hard, he wanted all of your powers to advance, he always wanted better, your best wasn’t enough.

If you were still able to push on you weren’t working hard enough in his opinion.

You were especially targeted.

Your father had only claimed to have adopted seven children, not eight, which confused you at the time.

_“But dad, I’m Number Eight, what about Vanya-“_

_“To the papers, you are Number Seven, think of it as nothing but a code name Number Eight.”_

_“But Dad-“_

_“You will not question me Number Eight, you are to be Number Seven, you have no choice in the matter if you reveal yourself to be anything different to the press you will be severely punished.”_

 

You grimaced remembering the conversation, you all went by your numbers in the beginning, your father didn’t want to reveal too much to the press, everyone knew you were his children but not exactly what you looked like, it’s what the masks were for, but eventually your full names that mom had given you were allowed to be revealed, but for a brief time you had been Number Seven.

Vanya had been horrified, and angry, she wanted to come with you all and fight but she could only play the violin, Vanya wasn’t special like all of you, you convinced yourself this was for her safety, no one could use Vanya against you if they didn’t know she existed. She wouldn’t speak to you for a time, you were sure she’d never forgiven you but you’d been raised to believe your shortcomings were justified, you were being a hero, a martyr, you’d take her anger if it meant protecting her.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe your teenage bullshit.

So you maintained the identity of Hargreeves seventh and final child to the press until you were much older and Vanya revealed herself.

She named her whole chapter about you “ _The Imposter”_ she described it as you living her life in place of her, she’d always be on the outside looking in on the academy, she never had anything to herself, not even the name she’d been given at birth, it was terrible and callous to be named after a number but it had still been her number, you and your father had taken it away from her.

She said it made her feel subhuman amongst her superhuman siblings, her only crime being born normal amongst powerful beings.

You and Vanya had spoken more in your teens, you’d been closer once she finally forgave you, or so you thought, for keeping her hidden. You used to tell her everything, she was the only person you’d told about Diego.

It was no secret in your house that some of you were closer than others, Allison and Luther always had something that no one would define out loud but definitely was not platonic.

They’d been caught once, nothing was being done except sharing a moment together but your father had been furious, they were not allowed to be alone for quite some time until things got back to normal. This had deterred you from pursuing your feelings for Diego, but he thought differently, Diego liked a challenge and just decided that meant he just had to do better than Luther, be more careful, never get caught.

You and Diego didn’t start anything one could consider a relationship until you were sixteen, but when you were younger he always went out of his way to impress you, protect you, and win your favor over everyone else.

He’d carve you small things, skulls, flowers, sometimes he’d leave something odd like a wonky fish, he was great at throwing knives, not so much as utilizing them for other things.

He’d sneak flowers and notes for you into your books, he’d play board games with you during free time as long as you watched him play darts in his bedroom after dinner.

After dinner you were all to be in bed, your father would retire to his study, this usually gave you at least an hour before he would start checking in to see you’d fallen asleep, you and Diego always made the most of it.

He’d listen to you ramble about books and characters, their lives and how sometimes you wished you could escape into magical worlds as they did.

You never understood then why all those books had children with wonderful powers and they were always so happy, they had families that loved them or ones they’d found to love at least.

You loved your family, but you weren’t so sure about your father, he always barked orders and withheld any form of affection from you.

Diego never did that to you.

You remembered how needy you’d been when you were younger, you always wanted to be held and Diego would oblige, your pinkies always seemed to be linked together, or you’d be unconsciously leaning into him, he’d hug you in the dark of night when you’d cry.

_“Quit thinking about him.”_

You mentally scolded yourself, you shouldn’t have let yourself get this deep into the rabbit hole thinking about your family, but now you itched with a curiosity, your heart ached to know if your father still had something of yours in his office.

 

You and Diego had been very careful for a long time, to your knowledge nobody knew, you both openly bickered and fought, sometimes it was real but it was typically just a show.

You’d always say something about going on a walk during your free time, your father loosened your leash only slightly as you’d entered your mid-teens, you could walk to the park and back unsupervised but if you did not return on time this privilege would be revoked.

Your power came in handy at the time, you’d claim you were going for a walk, no one would really watch you so you’d wait outside until Klaus came out to the alleyway for a smoke, knowing you’d been gone a believable amount of time you’d then sneak back inside.

Diego would listen close until he heard you, you’d phase your way in and whistle quietly, to indicate you were in the room.

You’d have your time, then you’d get back outside before free time ended and waltz in as if you’d been out the whole time.

 

It was a process but it always got you together scot-free.

But then your father became suspicious.

He had Pogo search through your bedroom during one of your “walks”, he came upon a special box you kept hidden under your bed.

You’d given Diego one final kiss before he opened his door, exiting nonchalantly as to not raise alarms, you made it back outside where you entered through the front door.

Your father confronted you as you removed your scarf and coat.

_“Number Eight, you are to meet me in my study, immediately.”_

He instructed your siblings to begin training exercises outside, Diego gave you a worried look, but both of you looked away.

The plan was always to deny it, never incriminate yourself or the other, there was no way anything could be happening between you.

Who knows, maybe this had nothing to do with anything like that, your father was a mysterious man who knew what he could’ve wanted.

 

Your father had sat you down and revealed your box, you had a small heart attack but kept your cool nonetheless.

Diego wasn’t stupid, he never signed any of his notes, and they had typical teenage boy scrawl, there was no way it could be proven it was him.

But your father would ask who, you had to think quickly.

_“I am extremely disturbed with my finding Number Eight, you have been going outside and acting suspiciously upon your return, I took it upon myself to find the answer to this.”_

He pulled out a small yellow piece of legal pad from the box, Diego had told you your hair smells sweet, and how he loved your eyes, he’d slipped it into your copy of “The Catcher in the Rye”.

_“These are notes of a romantic nature, can you explain how you’ve come to possess them?”_

You sat silently, you didn’t know how to get out of this, you couldn’t save yourself but you refused to take Diego down with you.

_“Answer me Number Eight, have you been culminating a flirtation on your walks?”_

Your father dropped the perfect answer in your lap. You bit your lip and willed tears into your eyes, you’d already been on the brink of crying from the fear of being found out.

_“I’m so sorry Dad, I never intended to disappoint you-“_

_“Quiet yourself, dry your eyes as I figure out what to do with you.”_

You fed him what he wanted to hear, you were older now and a bit more jaded about your father's treatment, you’d allow him to believe you were just a lovesick teenager who’d been caught, you’d be in major trouble but it kept your true secret safe.

You thanked God he hadn’t found your journal, you would black out Diego’s name within its pages that night, you’d been too careless writing about your feelings for him there, you’d have to find another way to relieve yourself of your secret.

Your father did punish you, you were not allowed to go outside for the remainder of the month, and after that, it would have to be supervised by one of your siblings or Pogo.

He also confiscated all your notes.

You’d been a bit heartbroken, you used to read over the notes and smile, it made your love for Diego grow each day knowing you had them there and he’d made them just for you, but it was a sacrifice that had to be made, anything to keep your love undiscovered.

He could always write you more.

Word spread fast and everyone wanted to know of this mystery suitor you’d been put in the doghouse over but you refused to tell anyone.

Except for Vanya.

Your father never really cared for what Vanya had to say so she was secretive, she likely wouldn’t reveal anything about you to any of your siblings as they rarely gave her the chance to gossip when she was included in any of your activities.

You remembered how surprised she’d been when you first told her but she kept your secret diligently for years.

And then exposed you in a tell-all book that people still called you to comment on to this day.

 

You parked in the alleyway forlorn but on a mission, rationally you knew this was a bad idea and went against everything you’d sworn you wouldn’t even entertain the thought of, but your father had just died and your missing brother was back and had to tell you something about the future that was worrying a hole in your stomach, so it wouldn’t kill you to be a bit irrational.

 

You’d rushed upstairs, nobody seemed to be awake yet, mom had greeted you when you came in and said something about French toast.

“It was always your favorite, I’ll have it done momentarily.”

Your mouth watered at the thought but your mind synced in on the task at hand, you’d made your way up to your father's study, a forbidden place you weren’t allowed in unless he so willed it, you stepped inside.

Sudden anxiety rose in your chest, this place always instilled fear within you, but you knew for sure your father was quite dead, he couldn’t come in and scold you now that he was a pile of ash in the courtyard.

You began to search, you suspected your father likely destroyed your treasured box, but if there was even the slightest chance that he’d somehow let it survive as some kind of reminder of your behavior you would find it.

You were searching through his drawer cabinet when you suddenly found something.

To most it would just look like a black rod, maybe a nightstick to the casual glance, but the way your heart turned to ice as you dropped it you knew exactly what it was.

Your father had special training methods for each of you, you had a diverse set of powers as a set and he wanted to utilize each facet to its peak potential.

You could turn invisible, create force fields, and arguably your best ability was your intangibility.

If you touched something it did the same, unseen and untouchable, it was almost the perfect power, Hargreeves wanted you to use it on a larger and larger scale.

He was unreasonable, he was sure one day you could make a whole city intangible, maybe a country, just by placing your hands on its soil, it would be the ultimate bragging right and he worked you like a dog to achieve it.

One day after joint training your father lead you to the lower level of the house, he lead you down a hall you’d never seen before, you were afraid and he offered no words of comfort, just a firm hand on your wrist.

You remembered wanting Diego, it was dark down there, the room he put you in was sterile and cold, all there was was a small metal square on the ground.

_“Stand in the square Number Eight.”_

_“Dad, what is it?”_

_“You’ll see Number Eight, now do as I say, I’m not in a patient mood.”_

You nodded and stood inside, the metal raised off the floor, it didn’t seem like much, just steel with small pointed metal teeth on its edges.

_“Now what?”_

_“You have a very versatile power Number Eight, it is hard to grasp you with your intangibility but some might choose to use your own power against you, put you in a situation where you are unable to phase or disappear, we’re going to make sure you’re prepared for that.”_

You didn’t have time to question much else when suddenly you felt the greatest agony of your life, a torturous pain you’d be forced to endure once a week for the remaining four years you lived with your father.

You felt yourself tearing apart and coming together over and over as the square machine held you in some kind of field, you tried to scream in pain but everything came out disjointed and alien sounding.

Your father spoke to you over your wails

_“This is an atom-scrambler, it will pull you apart at a molecular level and put you back together, you will be unable to phase out of this field at this stage but with time you will learn to escape, nothing will be able to hold you if you can escape this.”_

You continued to scream, Hargreeves gave you an hour to attempt an escape, it was fruitless as you were in too much pain to actually even think of escaping.

You vomited when you came out, you felt stretched like a piece of taffy, everything was too much for your senses, Hargreeves was disappointed and took notes in his notorious bound journal.

Your father continued with the exercise, you were not allowed to speak of it’s true nature to your siblings not even Diego, you were afraid of what he’d do if he found out, he was already in hot water for basically attempting to fight Luther anytime the occasion presented itself, you didn’t want to add any more bad blood with your father to the mix.

 

After a few almost successful attempts to leave the atom scramblers field, your father kicked it up a notch.

He bought this rod, like the atom scrambler it would make you unable to phase and release a volatile shock. It was meant to make you think on your feet, Hargreeves would use it at the most unexpected times.

The first time he had you pissed yourself from the painful shock, it left you drooling and delirious for a moment, Hargreeves did not know the meaning of overkill when it came to training.

_“If you experience the worst in training, you’ll be ready for anything in the field.”_

 

You stared down at the rod, it tormented you, you felt angry and sad, you’d been just a child how could anyone look at you and decide it was okay to hurt you.

To make you a soldier.

You opened the window and tossed the rod out as hard as you could, it felt good to watch it hit the ground, it seemed unaffected but that didn’t matter to you. You didn't know someone was watching. You didn't notice the rod disappear from the grass outside.

You shut the window and continued your search when finally you opened a small cabinet in the back corner of the room.

It was full of all types of things you’d all had taken from you over the years, marbles from Luther, lipstick from Allison, fake ID from Klaus, but finally you saw what you were looking for.

Your box was old and dusty now, crammed inside the bottom shelf of the cabinet as if it’d been kicked there in a fit of anger.

Your hands shook as you took it in your hands, realizing what was inside.

You’d told Diego you wouldn’t pursue anything further when you were eighteen, technically breaking up with him, you’d suddenly realize then that while you loved him you’d never loved anyone else, you’d never been allowed to be normal and have normal feelings and relationships.

You loved Diego then so desperately, but was that what it was? Desperation? To feel loved and safe in a place you could never be safe, you’d been surviving together, you had been scared that simulated a relationship between you that wasn’t quite genuine or right to be in.

But you wanted to see this, you wanted to remember the feeling you had when you read these.

You tried your best to swear off those feelings when you’d become an adult but Diego used to see you at your apartment and there was something there, something different from what was kept secret within this house, it was like you were completely different people free to act and speak as you like.

But you remembered still denying him, not wanting to start the relationship again, not wanting to risk your siblings finding out, they wouldn’t approve and you didn’t want to lose them any more than you had.

You didn’t show it by keeping your distance but you didn’t want to damage your family any further, you’d lost two brothers, your father was a monster, you didn’t want to add fuel to the fire by revealing that you were a couple.

 

You held the box close to your chest as you skirted around towards your bedroom, you heard more people in the house, Allison arguing on the phone, likely with her soon to be ex-husband, you felt bad that her marriage had fallen apart it had actually given you hope once to find true love outside the walls of this house.

 

But then again Allison didn’t have to work hard for the things she wanted, love hadn’t been any different for her but now it was coming back to bite her.

 

It was quiet for a moment but then more heated words were exchanged.

 

“You’re an adult now, the only person you can blame your problems on is yourself.”

 

You cupped a hand over your mouth, you’d almost gasped in surprise as you heard Allison chastising who you could only believe to be Vanya.

You almost felt bad, who knows was spurred that venom between your sisters, everyone was in a vulnerable place right now.

You supposed you always were.

None of you really talked for a reason, it was hard to face people you loved that you know had been through the same things you had, but still feel some sort of resentment for the smallest things.

If anyone should understand your complicated circumstances it should be each other, but you always were caught between a group of strangers and a family, you didn’t want to confide in one another because you didn't know each other in your current lives but you knew each other better than anyone because you’d grown up together.

It was an odd way to live but it was the conundrum you were all stuck in.

You walked down to Allison, she was pressed against the wall, looking uncomfortable, you knew that look she probably felt guilty for lashing out but was too prideful to admit it to anyone but herself.

“Al, you okay?”

Allison looked surprised to see you, you had been sneaking about most of this morning, your box was clutched to your chest and you were dressed down likely looking a bit frumpy compared to her carefully crafted ensemble.

“When did you get here?”

“Just a bit ago..heard you fighting with someone down here.”

“Vanya threw in her two cents after I was on the phone..Patrick isn’t letting me speak to Claire and I’m missing my counseling, he’s upset and I’m frustrated, my father just died! I have things I have to be there for, I’d be there if I could and he knows I would! He’s making me out to be a monster-“

 

Allison realized she was venting to you out of nowhere, she felt odd about it, you both hadn’t really spoken in years and even when you lived together you’d always been so secretive.

She knew why, but it was all something they’d silently agreed not to bring up.

She didn’t out of fear of being called out herself.

You looked like a completely different person in her eyes, you were one of her many siblings but she could pass you off as a stranger, she had no idea where you lived or worked, if you were single, whether you have children of your own.

Would it be weird to ask?

Did she actually want to know?

Or was she just spurred on by the fact that she was realizing the mortality of the people in her life, she didn’t love her father but he’d been her father, she didn’t expect him to die.

She didn’t expect Ben to die.

She wondered if it would hurt, if something like that happened to you, or Vanya, or any of the rest of your family, in a way she was sure it would but she wasn’t sure how deeply.

She’d grown up with all of you but she’d also distanced herself, focusing on her career and her new family.

“I didn’t mean to go on a tangent-“

“It’s alright Allison, I can’t really imagine what you’re going through.. I don’t have kids or a family like that, it must be painful to be away from them.”

Allison grimaced, she didn’t want Vanya’s ignorance and she didn’t want your pity.

“Of course you can’t imagine, you don’t even talk to your own family here.”

You frowned and she watched you clutch the box in your arms closer, Allison knew it was a somewhat hypocritical statement, but she’d at the very least send the occasional obligated text or call, you’d went completely radio silent until Diego called you back here.

Of course you’d come running the moment he asked.

“I’m not the only one, it’s not like we all used to call each other each week and chat about our lives.”

“Yeah but we at least called, no one knew where you were you just went up in thin air, Vanya wrote that book about all of us not just you.”

“She didn’t dedicate that much paper to tearing you down, she didn’t reveal your deepest secrets, just shitty thoughts she had about you, I trusted her with everything and she stabbed me in the back.”

“Why did you confide in her anyway? You could’ve talked to any of us but you always had to isolate yourself, you want to pretend you were all alone in the world but you pushed us away, you pushed your own family away, so I don’t want your pity when mines being ripped away from me!”

You looked at the ground, eyes glassy and a slight shake in your stature.

“I just had to get away, all these people were calling me, crucifying me in the press, I just wanted to be alone, to feel safe, I didn’t have that here okay? I didn’t want to hurt you with what I’d done because I knew it was wrong, so I left.”

That made Allison angry, you didn’t trust them that was the problem, none of them could ever just communicate like adults and it was all out in the open here.

“We could’ve helped, you don’t know how we would’ve reacted because you ran away, like you always do.”

Mom tried to call to you, something about breakfast

“You can’t just hide from all your problems the rest of your life.”

You stared at her blankly, Allison felt a coldness spreading in her stomach, she was just going off like a loaded gun today, you hadn’t really done anything to provoke her really but she had so much pent up about the divorce she was forced to release her past frustrations with the both of you.

Everyone in the house just didn’t know how to face their issues like adults, including herself, and she was growing tired of it.

You turned tail and ran up the stairs, your steps loud and clear through the silent house.

 

You really just wanted to get in your car and go home, you were sick of the emotional minefield that this household had become, you tried to be nice you were met with bullshit, if you tried to be cut off you were met with bullshit! You were growing weary of the cycle, you wanted to be home with your cat and your books, read your boring schedule and fill out your boring book orders, make your coffee in your half functioning machine and just get back to normal.

But you’d already convinced yourself to stay, Five asked and you’d agreed.

You decided to stay in your room until he got back from wherever he was.

 

Diego entered the gym, saying his hellos as regulars trained, the musky scent of the place made him feel at home as he made his way down the poster plastered hall towards the boiler room.

Diego saw his door wire had been broken, a sign someone had entered while he was away.

He opened his front door quietly as not to alert the intruder, grabbing a knife from his person he listened and looked in, trying to gauge where they were inside.

He realized the person was familiar, his eye caught a sliver of green and realized what behemoth had snuck into his place to play detective.

Luther didn’t know how to leave well enough alone.

Diego threw the knife inside, willing it in a path he thought necessary to hit his mark.

“Ow!”

Diego chuckled quietly before entering.

“Could smell it was you.”

“You could’ve killed me!”

“I wanted you dead, you’d be dead.”

Diego decided to continue on in this space as if Luther wasn’t here, he was the intruder, why should Diego act any differently? He gave some sarcastic compliment to his home, and Diego was completely honest in his like for it, sure it was no expensive penthouse or anything but it was his, he’d made it his home.

He’d missed a night of work, Al would have his ass if he didn’t clean this place up real nice tonight, but Diego always did, the old man would play the pissed off boss but Diego knew he’d never give him too much trouble as long as he did his job.

“So why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Luther unfolded the small advertising poster from his match.

It was dated the night of Hargreeves death.

“That you were fighting the night dad died.”

Luther had talked to the guys and confirmed all the details and Diego had already grown tired of his presence, he just wanted to relax and get his head together, his back was killing him from sleeping over in jail, wasn’t something he was unfamiliar with, but never something he’d be used to.

“Yeah well, I shouldn’t have to prove my innocence to you, or anyone else in this family.”

Diego cracked an egg, Luther shoved the advertisement in his coat pocket, he was unphased as Diego ate the egg raw but he couldn’t help but think about how grossed out you’d be by it, it almost made him smile to think of your scrunched of features as you’d yell for him to quit it, eat a real meal.

He was still thinking of you after yesterday, the sadness in your eyes, the way you’d slipped from his grasp again.

You were so ghost like, all he wanted was to hold you and keep you with him now more than ever before you got back to that small town of yours but he was sure you’d left last night.

You’d been itching to get out of that house the moment you stepped foot in it, Diego knew how you were better than anyone, you’d be homesick by now if you had stuck around.

“You’re right, I just thought-“

“Yeah I know what you thought” Diego approached Luther, radiating an unwelcoming vibe, he’d overstayed his unwelcome and he wanted Luther and his stupid accusations out of his home.

“Now you have a nice day, brother.”

Luther took the hint and finally stepped out, Diego sighed and made his way to his bed, needing a moment to himself.

He groaned as he felt his weight resting, he needed to pop his back but he was already comfortably heavy upon his mattress.

Luther had never been here before.

No one in his family had.

He wasn’t embarrassed or anything but of course the first time any of his family visits here it’s to gather clues on whether or not he’s a killer.

He wasn’t even really surprised, being from his family that was actually a more mild interaction, it could’ve been worse.

Diego wanted to know more about this case, he’d wanted to look into that tow truck lead himself but he’d been locked up and now Eudora had eyes on him. Diego would have to do more stealth snooping, but he decided to lie low for right now, but he’d keep his radio on.

Just in case.

 

You were alone in your room.

The letters were staring back at you.

You’d opened the box, dusty and old it was full of folded slips and scraps of paper, they used to be all put away neat but your father had rifled through them likely in a fit of rage before locking them away.

You’d been so desperate to find them now you were scared to read them.

Your sheets laid softly beneath you, the air still, you felt like a young teen again with this box open before you, you felt vulnerable and nervous.

Rationally you knew you were grown, you’d had other relationships that had much scarier events and questions, old love notes shouldn’t be anything.

But they were from Diego.

They were from a time when you were the love of his life, he’d always told you he couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without you.

You’d forced him to figure that out, you ghosted him, that’s what you did when you were scared and you were becoming more and more aware of it as people kept reminding you.

_“You ran away before we could finish it.”_

_“You can’t just hide from all your problems the rest of your life.”_

Had you always been this cowardly? You were now forced as an adult to look back at yourself, who you’d grown up to be.

You abandoned your relationship with Diego because you were afraid of people finding out about it, you were afraid your love wasn’t real.

You abandoned your whole family because you were scared of a book, you were scared of how they’d look at you after what they read.

You’d left Diego alone to deal with that.

You were realizing people likely asked him about it as much as you, his relationship with Eudora had been on the rocks a bit before the book came out but you didn’t know if they’d broken up, you hadn’t been speaking at the time so you didn’t know for sure.

You didn’t break them up did you?

You mentally yelled at yourself to shut up, you were so self absorbed, they could’ve broken up for a multitude of reasons, Diego’s whole life didn’t revolve around you.

You hadn’t let yourself think about any of this in years, you’d packed it away neatly like these notes had once been, but just as they were now your life was quickly becoming just as messy.

You shakily selected a gray slip of sketch paper, Diego likely had stolen this from Luther, you remembered how he used to use these to sketch ideas for his model planes on.

 

_“I wanted to hold your hand so badly today, but there were too many eyes._

_I want to take you away, far from here, where no one could see us and hold your hand until the sun dies out.”_

You looked down to the little note he scrawled at the bottom of the paper.

_“Not like in a weird way like metaphorically, not like a lets die type of way, what’s with poets wanting to die? Like you can just hang out, you know what I mean?”_

You couldn’t help laughing out loud, Diego really did used to write to you like that, because he knew you wouldn’t judge him too harshly, and his idea of a love note was speaking to you in a more natural context, he tried to be sappy and poetic but his typical way of speaking always sunk in, he’d naturally comment on how it was weird to talk like that but he’d do it for you anyway as long as he could complain about it, and you always loved it.

You remembered reading this note, you’d just showered and it was crammed into your dressers top drawer, you’d been brushing your wet hair while you read it so the word ‘mean’ was a bit smudged from a droplet of water.

You realized you had another stash of your notes, this one had been protected far more carefully, you just hadn’t had the thought to come back here and retrieve it, it’d been so long you didn’t even think about it, but after reading one you rapidly consumed the others, feeling heart broken as the box ran dry.

You searched all over your floor trying to remember which floorboard it was until finally you found it.

It slid open near your small bookshelf, crammed down in it were Manila folders full of the flattened notes, you grabbed them and read for hours until your floor looked like that of a detectives collecting evidence obsessively, you relived bits of your romance.

Most were just small bits, short and sweet just things he’d left you to cheer you up or let you know he’d been thinking of you.

Some were long and vulnerable, you remembered how hard it was for Diego to open up even to you but sometimes he’d let it all out, letting you literally read him like a book.

Everyone always thought Diego was so harsh and hard, he didn’t smile much, outside of smirking and teasing, but you knew what his real smile was like, it made you melt back then. He was such a sweetheart, he had a sensitive and vulnerable side, he just kept it to himself.  When Diego was with people he loved he’d let it show he could be kind.

Your chest ached as you thought of it, how Eudora probably knew that side of him too.

You trampled down that jealousy and continued reading.

But the thoughts invaded your head, did he write her notes like this? You could imagine her opening her locker at the police academy, smiling wide reading them to herself, tucking them into her pockets.

Holding his hand.

Kissing him.

Walking home to their shared apartment.

Diego visited your place, you’d lived together your whole childhood, but you never had a place with him that was just you two’s space, you never had your own home together.

Would you have?

Could you have done that together?

Your eyes stung at the realization of what you’d been deprived of, of what you deprived yourself of.

All his love was soaked into these pages, you’d hurt him time and time again and all he’d ever done was love you, you thought letting him go was the best thing you could do for both of you but you were just cowardly, too scared to let him love you outside these walls you pushed him away.

Allison was right, you pushed everyone away.

And now you were alone, only a memory of his love left for you to grieve over.

What had you done?

You only had a moment with this heartbreaking realization of your own character when your sister suddenly came bursting into your room. 

Papers flew up as your door swung open and she stared at you wide eyed amongst the chaos, you suddenly realized how dark it had gotten, the day had slipped away and you had yet to see Five at all, Allison seemed to be holding something in her mouth but the words weren’t coming, she had to show you as she motioned for you to stand. 

“(Y/n), get up and come with me, you have to see this.”

“What-“

“Just come on!”

You watched her turn and rush back down the hall, her heels clicking loudly against the floor spurred you on as you rushed to stand and follow her.

What did she need you to see?

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry chapter two took a lot longer than I originally anticipated, I had the first eight pages written directly after uploading chapter one but got caught up in work and school, I try to keep these chapter to at least 14+ pages and I finally finished school this week and was able to push through, hopefully I can have chapter three out soon but until then please enjoy, all the comments and kudos have been greatly appreciated


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Diego revisit old dynamics while you rebuild some family ties, but your family’s new debate pushes you closer together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make a wish when your childhood dies  
> Hear the knock, knock, knock when she cries  
> We're all alone tonight  
> Hold your breath when a black bird flies  
> Count to seventeen and close your eyes  
> I'll keep you safe inside

Allison pulled you down the hall as she explained what she’d found. 

“Pogo showed me these videos dad took of us as kids-“ 

“Like home movies?” 

“More like home surveillance, very touching, but I found something, I think Luther might have been right.” 

“What?” 

You were confused until you both bumped into Luther on your way to wherever Allison was taking you, all her focus left you as suddenly Luther was apologetic about the accusations he’d made of Diego. 

You’d missed the whole who done it as Klaus had put it but you should’ve known Luther would have pegged Diego as suspect number one, he was the most vocal about his hatred and willingness to be violent towards your father.

Didn’t mean you wouldn’t have been pissed about it had you been there, but he was showing humility in admitting his feelings about accusing his brother so you simmered down. 

As much as you didn’t always like it, Luther was the team's leader when you were still superheroes, but at home, he’d always be your brother who was still human like the rest of you, he should be allowed to make mistakes. 

God knows you all did. 

Suddenly Five came upon all of you, he looked frazzled his eyes wide, his thick lashes and dark eye bags made the green of his irises stand out. 

“Five? what the hell happened to you?” 

Allison questioned his disheveled appearance, Luther immediately became sympathetic and questioning, his old leadership shining through.

“Are you okay? Can we help?” 

Something broken flashed in your brother's eyes, frustration bled through his person like sharpie on printer paper, yet he spoke quietly, his voice wavered only slightly as he blocked Luther from touching him. 

“There’s nothing you can do, there’s nothing any of you can do.” 

Why the hell did all your siblings have to say cryptic bullshit? 

Five stormed down the hall towards his old room, you had a moment where you had to consider your path, go forward and learn about this video Allison was all about but also be trapped in close quarters with her and Luther, or check on Five and submit yourself to his volatile mood. 

“All..I’m gonna go check on that, you and Luther probably would have a better eye for whatever you’re trying to show us, I’ll catch up on it later.” 

Allison opened her mouth but the protest died on her tongue, realizing this was probably a better plan, splitting up for damage control. 

“Okay, well fill you in later.” 

Her and Luther disappeared into a room far down the hall and you moved to trail after Five. 

 

Five’s door was slightly ajar, it reminded you of when you were still kids, he’d always act like he wanted to be alone but if his door was open it meant he wanted someone to check on him, even if he’d never admit it. 

Five always felt like he was the smartest in the room and he usually was, but this tended to make him have a bit of a complex, people couldn’t understand things like he could in his mind so he kept all his problems and stresses close to him until he’d just break down be it in anger or sadness. 

He’d rather assume you were all idiots than be honest with you at times. 

But you were adults now. 

He’d have to face the music like the rest of you and talk. 

Five laid on his bed, his brow creased in pain, you could see the red stain on his crisp dress shirt sleeve. 

Ahh, memories, you had no idea why he wanted to continue to wear the uniform, maybe it was comforting for him, it was familiar. 

You remembered what a bitch they could be though, they were purely for aesthetic purposes, you’d ruined so many of your identical outfits. Mom scrubbed and scrubbed until those damn shirts were pearly white again, she was an expert on blood stains, you’d typically just throw something like this shirt out but she’d just continue to float about looking for a chore, she’d asked to do your laundry earlier while you were reading your notes when you literally only had the two outfits that needed washing. 

She’d looked like a kid at Christmas when you’d given them to her. 

Sometimes you realized she probably didn’t miss the chores but rather having them meant you were home, meant she could dote on you all. 

You didn’t exchange words as you coaxed him out of the sullied shirt, piling his things near the door your realized he’d been grazed by a bullet, thinly sheathed holes adorned his shirt and jacket sleeve. 

Sewing, good thing he already had so many blazers. 

“It’s a bit deep but we’ve had worse, I’m gonna need to stitch it though.” 

“I can do it myself-“ 

“Shut up tough guy, you look like you haven’t slept in days just lay down and let me do it.” 

Five frowned like he wanted to protest more but you pressed his shoulder to force him to lie down. 

You found the first aid kit you all had in your bedroom, his was dusty and still had child bandaids with trains, courtesy of mom, boys got trains, girls got flowers. 

You stopped the bleeding and began to clean the wound, a small bowl of soap and water, then you disinfect, then close the wound, simple procedure you still had in the back of your brain like clockwork. 

“Told me we were gonna have a talk today, had me waiting around Five I could’ve been home by now.” 

“You said you’d stay.” 

“And I did, now what did you want to talk about? Something is obviously stressing you and I’d like to know what it is.” 

Five closed his eyes, his face calm as you began to disinfect his graze with the stinging alcohol. 

“I came home from the future..” 

“Yeah, and it was shit, go on.” 

You saw the corner of Five’s mouth twitch, like he would’ve smiled if what he was saying didn’t stir up so much turmoil within him. 

“It was..because the apocalypse had happened, everyone was dead but me.” 

The minimal amount of motion in the room came to a dead freeze. 

You thought once you’d packed up all your shit including your uniform, all your world saving bullshit would be over. 

You wouldn’t have to fight. 

You wouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself to protect strangers because it’s what your father had trained you like a dog to do. 

You’d never have to lose a brother for a cause you didn’t sign up for again. 

You were 30 years old. 

But these past two days you felt too young, too small, it’s what this house did to you. 

“The apocalypse..” 

“The apocalypse is in eight days..well seven in an hour, the point is I traveled back to this date specifically because I need us all here to stop it, that includes you (Y/n), I need the whole academy so you can’t run away.” 

You stiffened as he said that. 

Is that really what everyone in this house saw you as? Some coward who never faced their problems? Only ran away when things got tough? 

Five hadn’t been home in years but you supposed Vanya’s book had done enough to paint your character for him. 

“Who says I’d run away if you needed me?” 

“I can see it in your eyes, your body language, you always have your hand in your left pocket feeling your keys because you want to speed out of here and forget, but I need you to promise me you’ll stay, that you’ll do this because I need you, we all do.” 

You still felt hurt, you stayed quiet as you carefully stitched the wound. 

“We’re a family (Y/n), were the only ones who can do this.” 

“If you actually need me I’ll stay, I’d always stay if one of you asked, yes I did move away and I’m a bit distant, sometimes I do run away, but at a time like this with a possible apocalypse looming I wouldn’t ditch you guys, understand?” 

“Completely, I apologize for my harshness, I just..” 

You were almost done stitching when he paused, his eyes off in the past, or the future rather, like he was reliving whatever part of the apocalypse troubled him most. 

“I never found you.” 

You were confused to say the least, what could he mean by that? 

“Like in the future?“ 

He gave you exasperated look, it was a stupid question but you were still processing all of this. 

“ (Y/n), everyone was dead when I got to the future, buried in the rubble, you were all as you are now I only realized it was all of you because of our tattoo.” 

He touched the tattoo inside your forearm for emphasis, you’d rolled up your sweatshirt sleeve as you were cleaning his wound a minute ago. 

“I couldn’t find you, I dug and searched but I never found you or Ben I assumed you were both dead but Vanya’s book said otherwise.” 

Five looked pained and it wasn’t from the needle pressing through his skin. 

“I obsessed over it for years, you had to get separated from us somehow, I didn’t know how but there had to be a reason you must’ve run because otherwise you would’ve been amongst those bodies.” 

“Five.” 

Five was not a crier, he never had been, but his eyes were glassy and his jaw clenched in frustration as he tried to rein in his emotions, you gently cupped his face, you were more sympathetic still seeing him as a child no matter how old he was in his brain. 

“It’s okay, I promise that I will stay right here, with you, and the others, we won’t get separated if I can help it.” 

You smoothed the bandage over his arm, he looked so weary as you moved to take his shoes off for him. 

“Thank you.” 

He needed that promise, to ground himself, this was going to be the hardest week of your life. 

The week your father dies, of course you’d be assigned the most difficult mission possible. 

“So, the apocalypse..that’s really something we’re going to have to deal with huh?” 

Five nodded. 

“We have a week now, but that’s barely enough time-“ 

“It’s okay Five, were all going to figure this out, but if you don’t sleep soon I don’t think we’ll be able to sort this out correctly.”

You pulled his comforter up, clearing away the mess you’d made you put the blanket over him. 

“I’m not a child-“ 

“Yeah yeah old man you can do everything yourself, take this kindness while you can, I’m only being soft because you look so young but keep being an asshole and I’m gonna start treating you like the rest of the schmucks around here.”

“Oh you won’t bother me for a few years?” 

You glared at him and he smirked smugly. 

“Alright mandatory curfew commences now you little shit, you’re like what, 60 years old? Don’t old dudes like you got to bed at like 5:30.” 

“No! Real men turn in at 6.” 

You burst out in laughter as you strode towards his door, you looked over at him through his doorway. 

“Get some rest Five..We got a long road ahead of us.” 

Five nodded and got comfortable, the last thing you heard from him was the shuffling of his sheets as your turned off his light. 

Allison and Luther were still down the hall, you should go see what they’re looking at but you’re realizing how just how late it was, in a few hours it would already be morning and you were tired yourself. 

 

You head back to your room, you pick up the whole mess you’d made and make a stack on your desk of all your notes, too lazy to reorganize them to their original state. 

You didn’t like sleeping in your room, you always had nightmares as a child of your father experimenting on you in your sleep, you wouldn’t put it past him but Pogo had assured you many times that this was not the case, that he watched over you while you slept, you hoped that nightmare had finally faded with your age...you’d leave the door open a crack just in case.

You slipped under your sheets, they were clean and the familiar smell of the detergent lulled you towards sleep, you didn’t know just how tired you were until your body hit that mattress, you were like cold butter on a hot roll, you melted right into a dreamless sleep. 

 

Allison and Luther had been up the past few hours watching the tape, the sun was finally peeking through the window panes so you’d finally gotten up, you took the time to shower and change into an olive green pullover sweater with a large black block stripe and charcoal colored jeans. You’d decided to grab them both a drink, coffee for Luther and tea for Allison.

Your hair was still a bit wet as you joined them in the room, they looked tired as they played it again. You placed down the drinks and tried to fix your short locks, pushing your fingers in to sweep the damp fray into something more presentable next to your starlette sister who somehow still look perfectly put together after a long couple hours of analyzing a grainy tape. 

“(Y/n), thank you, did you sleep well?” Luther held the mug to his lips as he spoke to you. 

“Oh yes, sorry I didn’t come last night I finished up with Five..we talked a while and it was just so late I was tired so I went to bed.” 

He nodded

“What did he say to you?” 

You bit your lip, Five should be the one to share that information, he’d likely intended to tell you all at the same time but you’d pried it out of him. 

“Just reminiscing, I was stitching up his arm so I was just distracting him from the pain.” 

You lied, Luther looked suspicious, but no one could see your tells quite like Diego could so you knew he likely wouldn’t question you further. 

At least for now. 

“That fine you’re here now, we need a fresh set of eyes on this.” 

Allison showed you the video in full, Luther spoke as you observed. 

“Dad was getting a bit more paranoid lately, felt like someone was out to get him, he started using the surveillance system again.” 

Mom gave dad his tea, and he started convulsing, she stood by as it happened. 

It didn’t make sense, if he was having a heart attack mom was equipped with hospital level medical knowledge she would’ve stepped in. 

But she just stood with her hands clasped as if awaiting further orders or dismissal. 

“She just stood there?” 

“Yeah, were not sure if she had a hand in this, maybe her programming is just off.” Allison reasoned 

“Or maybe she poisoned him.” Luther accused 

Allison and Luther stared each other down and you went over it in your head.

“There’s no way, mom can hurt anyone, it’s not in her system or her character, mom would only injure someone if one of our lives were in danger.” 

“If there’s something off with her programming we can’t know that for sure, we have to talk to her, see what’s up.” 

“You’re going to interrogate our mother?” 

“Don’t be so harsh about it, we’re just going to talk to Grace, calmly, we just want to make sure everything is okay with her.” 

Luther called her Grace. 

He called your mother by her first name, it was like he was trying to distance her from her motherly image. 

It pissed you off immediately. 

“You don’t need to question _Mom_ to be sure, we know her, it must’ve been some sort of fluke maybe she just didn’t understand what was happening but she didn’t hurt him, she wouldn’t and I know that and you should too.”

Luther looked frustrated, he always acted like an older brother talking to a younger sibling when in reality you were all the same age. 

“(Y/n) don’t be naive, she’s a machine, machines can malfunction I wouldn’t put it past her-“ 

“I’m not being naive! If you’re going to talk to here we are all going to do it together, someone needs to vouch for her if you’re so ready to condemn her.” 

Allison stood between you both, becoming the mediator of the feud.

“Alright you two, well go talk to Mom, together.” 

She put a hand on your shoulder. 

“We’re not trying to villainize Mom, you have to admit this footage is alarming, we should try to understand the situation fully by seeing what she knows.” 

You sighed, Allison was tired you could see it in her face she’d been up worrying over this and talking to Luther, you knew the fighting likely wasn’t helping whatever sleep deprived migraine she was developing. 

You decided to act like an adult and calm down, speak about this rationally. 

“Okay, fine, let’s see what we can find out.” 

 

Mom hummed and cooked happily as you each sat at the breakfast table, she’d smiled when she saw you saying she’d felt bad about you missing the meal she’d made you yesterday. 

“I’m sorry if you didn’t want french toast, I can make anything else you like-“ 

“I love your french toast mom, I just..didn’t feel too good so I went to my room, remember? You came in a took my laundry from me.” 

Mom looked blankly for a moment, like her brain was trying to pull up the memory. 

“Why yes! Your clothes are pressed and folded in your bedroom now, I made your bed and cleaned up your desk everything is tidy and in order sweetheart.” 

You smiled but suddenly felt off as she sat you down, she was making eggs right now and it felt like she only knew kind of what was happening around her.

She was doing everything like she normally would have when you were a kid, doting and chores but you were beginning to realize she didn’t do much else. 

Now it’s what mom was made for but she used to go outside, stand in the garden by herself, she’d even go grocery shopping by herself but you hadn’t seen her actually go outside since the actual funeral. 

She always seemed to be sitting, waiting to be told something, for someone to look at her, acknowledge her. 

You were starting to worry.

“Mom? We need to ask you some questions about the night that Dad died. Do you remember anything?” 

“Of course. Sunset, 7:33 pm, the moon was waxing crescent, dinner was cornish hen, - wild rice, and carrots-”

“No, no later that night, in his bedroom.” 

Your stomach felt like a knot, the tension in the room was making you feel sick, Luther wasn’t speaking unkindly but you knew he was scrutinizing each response, anything she said was building evidence towards his suspicions of a faulty system. 

Honestly even if your mom did willingly stand there and let your father die, you wouldn’t hold it against her, hell you’d even support her decision you would’ve done the same thing. Your father put the world before all of you, he built you a mother and treated her like a subservient machine your whole lives. 

She was made to serve, but she had feelings she just had to, you can’t fake the kind of love she gave. 

“Your father was a good man, a kind man, he was very good to me.” 

“You don’t have to say that mom-“ 

Allison elbowed you

“Yes but after we all left it must have been difficult.” Allison attempted to pave over your comment

“Oh, there were days. You kids kept me oh so busy, and then..” 

Moms stare went blank once again, your mother was hurt from being alone you could see it below the surface that these years had been hard on her, now she was acting robotic, like a machine, it felt weird to see her like this, but you still wouldn’t let them insist she’d killed your father. 

Mom was confused and hurt but not a killer.

Mom didn’t answer anything else, she just served you all and insisted you eat. 

Your stomach turned but you tried to eat anyway, at least it would make mom happy. 

 

Diego had spent the last few hours talking and gathering information, morning had come and he was finally able to slip into the scene. 

Eudora was here and he knew that but he knew there wasn’t a huge risk she’d arrest him twice in 24 hours. 

This whole thing was weird, Eudora always came to Diego when it came to the weird, he could get her information she wasn’t allowed to without a desk load of paperwork, she could be more willing to turn a blind eye if it was in her favor. 

That or Diego was succeeding at wearing her down. 

He surveyed his surroundings, bullet casings were scattered all about catching his eye immediately, he squatted down to get a closer look. The nine millimeters hadn’t been manufactured since 1963, Eudora finished his sentence for him already having caught on to this fact herself. 

“Odd, I know, matching casings were found at the murder scene last night. Ishmael’s towing.” 

Diego connected the dots immediately, giving her a pointed look. 

“The driver?” 

“Found him hanging from the ceiling, looks like he might have known something after all.” 

“It’s a shame no one told you to go talk to him.” 

Their eyes met. 

Diego’s said ‘I told you so’- Eudora’s said shut up. 

Eudora was asking for ideas but anything Diego gravitated towards was shot down, this really was weird, the place didn’t even have surveillance tapes. 

Whoever these people were they weren’t slowing down like Eudora said. 

“The city is really going to shit huh?” 

“Coming from the guy dressed in spandex?” 

“It’s not spandex, it’s leather, you used to like it- a lot if I recall.” 

“God, please un-remember that.” 

“Etched into the data bank, Eudora.” 

He enjoyed the small moments they could have.

“And we’re done.” 

Diego couldn’t help teasing her, sure things hadn’t ended pretty, but sometimes they could have a laugh about it all. They parted ways, Eudora would look into this case her way, he’d do it his, that’s always how they were. 

Split roads, same goal. 

 

Diego was stuck on the kid from the diner and the two shooters, the tow truck guy was already dead and more was to come he could just feel it in his gut. 

He wanted to focus purely on this case right now, work always helped him push away the problems he didn’t want to think about, it was methodical even therapeutic to a point where he could get lost in the details of his investigation. 

But he was still thinking about his family. 

He didn’t want to admit it but it did feel weird seeing everyone again, he was sure you’d already skipped town, it was just in your nature to run away from him like some skittish animal.

Luther had actually visited his place, taken one of his posters, he thought he hadn’t noticed or maybe he just didn’t care, momento or evidence he let Luther have it, not like he didn’t have multiple prints every time he fought. 

Even seeing Allison outside a screen, she had some kind of hurt stuck on her, she didn’t say it but even as she sassed him like she always did he knew her crumbling marriage being paraded to the public packed a punch even his words couldn’t accomplish. 

Driving Klaus hadn’t been too out of the ordinary, he never got his license so Diego used to do it often when he was still more susceptible to giving his junky brother a helping hand. Diego tried to close himself off to Klaus, thinking tough love was what he needed but the guy still found a way to worm himself in. 

Diego groaned thinking of driving Klaus looped him back to your conversation at the car, watching you phase through your own vehicle just to get away from him, he’d never call you a coward you were one of the strongest people he’d know throughout his life, growing up a Hargreeves you had to be, but you were afraid of being around him because you knew you’d fall right back into your old habits, you’d admitted it to him right there.

_“..if I let you in for even a second I will run all the way back to you and I’ll never leave-“_

Now you’d been trying to deter him with the full statement but you’d let that slip in, the chink in your armor, if Diego could just reopen contact with you and rebuild that bridge, even if somehow at the end of the day you wouldn’t allow yourself to be his again he’d at least finally have you in his life again. 

To get closure on this was his goal. 

But for you to be his, for him to be yours again, that was the ideal. 

Diego sighed through his nose, he was running scenarios on getting back into your good graces more than the case of these masked shooters, he decided to turn on the music on his car radio and try to focus more on reading the notes he had taken. 

 

You sat on the couch watching Allison and Luther hash out what to do with mom. 

“Hiding? To me she just sounded confused.” 

“You saw the tape, Grace knew what she was doing.” 

There he goes again with the Grace thing, thankfully Allison beat you to calling him out on it, you gave her a mental point as you edged more towards her corner in this whole argument. 

“She’s a machine Allison-“ 

“Who read to us, cleaned up after us, and put us to bed. And then we left her here, alone, in this house, for thirteen years, no wonder she lost her mind, to be away from yours kids-!” 

Allison’s voice was strained, you realized this was becoming something else, Allison likely had a special insight on how Mom was feeling because your sister was a mother herself. 

A mother who was being forced to be away from her own child. 

It’s why she’d went off on you the day before, she was still nursing that wound and understanding how Mom could be crazy because of it, because she felt a bit crazy herself these days. 

You frowned suddenly feeling a lot more sympathetic towards Allison than you had in a very long time. 

Things got tense once Luther started asking questions, even worse when he spoke of their closeness in adolescence, he sat next to you on the couch and Allison seemed to retreat turning her back on both of you. 

“You said you were missing your counseling Al..what’d you mean?” 

Allison and Luther both seemed to realize you were there again, you didn’t take offense, you and Diego used to be like that at times, tunnel visioning on one another when emotions were high. 

Allison seemed to realize she needed to communicate, likely remembering what she’d said to you yesterday, how people could help if you’d just come to them. 

“Things got ugly between Patrick and me, now  the court says I have to do this mandatory therapy thing before I can have visitation.” 

“What for?”

Luther might not have understood it right away but your mind had already started running away with your worst thought as Allison spoke.

“You used your power on her.” Luther realized aloud

“Al..you didn’t, you wouldn’t-?” 

“She had these massive meltdowns, no matter what I said she wouldn’t stop..she was three then and I know that’s what three year olds are supposed to do.” 

You thought of Allison, stressed with a toddler likely trying to do the brunt of the parenting on her own, you all would never admit it but there was a large factor inside of you that pushed away any thoughts of having children, but on the slightest chance you did you were scared you wouldn’t do everything right, that you’d hurt them, that you wouldn’t love them enough or not how you’re supposed to because you had trouble processing things as an adult due to how you were raised. 

Allison just used what she knew worked her whole life. 

It was just coming back to bite her now. 

Your whole life you’d envied Allison, she’d always gotten exactly what she asked for, but you realized now she’d grown and she was beginning to understand she’d created a superficial environment for herself, nothing was real, and hearing her say she was starting over but still struggling, being open with the two of you, you felt a new respect come to fruition within you. 

You’d spent so many years neglecting your family and your relationships, you all had, but with the world ending and your father now dust to the wind you felt you needed to remedy this, allow yourself to be a Hargreeves in what could be your last days. 

You had run, you tried to forget, but now you needed to be here. 

For your sister.

For all your family. 

 

Allison still felt broken, everything was going to take a long time to heal and you told her that, she surprised you later in the day when she came to you again. 

You’d been sitting in the parlor, thinking about Mom, thinking about what Five had said, you’d seen him that morning, he gave you a salute as he made his way out of his window. Allison has appeared to you suddenly, she was dressed in her coat and another perfect outfit. 

“I’m..Im going to go talk to Vanya, let her know about the family meeting, I was wondering if you’d want to come with me?” 

You looked up at her, she was trying to give you an olive branch to grasp on to, neither of you were ever close but this was her way of saying ‘We can be better.’ 

If you were willing to let her try. 

“Sure..I came in my car if you don’t wanna pay for a cab.” 

“Ah don’t worry about it, easier than trying to find a parking space, we’ll just have to walk a little bit together.” 

You nodded and went to grab your own coat. 

 

The cab ride was quiet, you and Allison stopped about halfway towards Vanya’s apartment, you’d have to cross a bit outside of brick town before you actually go to it but it was better on foot than facing the traffic.

For a broken woman Allison looked immaculate, her black leather coat fitting perfectly as it had been made just for her, which it likely was, while you wore a navy blue light padded parka, it was chilly but nothing too serious so you didn’t break out the full fur hood or anything quite yet, but you definitely looked like you should’ve been grabbing her coffee instead of striding beside her.

“(Y/n)..about yesterday, I didn’t want to talk about it in the car but-“ 

“It’s okay Al, you don’t have to explain yourself, some of the stuff you said was true I just wasn’t really ready to hear it.”

“I know but I was still harsh, I didn’t say it to help you, I said it to hurt you, now that dads gone and I’m having all of this going on with Claire I’m just realizing how I’ve kind of pulled away from our family too.” 

You realized how much being apart from your niece was affecting your sister, you could see the sadness in her eyes, like it was ripping her heart to shreds to be away from her. 

Sometimes you forgot you indeed did have a niece, one of your siblings actually had a child, on purpose. 

You hadn’t been too involved in it unfortunately, you didn’t even attend Allison’s wedding, you’d skipped out on a lot of things. 

“Al, I’m sorry I still haven’t met Claire..I remember you sending me that birth announcement, did you ever get the onesie set I sent you?” 

“With the little pink elephants? We actually took her one month photos in that set, I put a giant pink flower headband on her..oh you should’ve seen it, she’s so beautiful.” 

Your heart broke a bit at that. 

Allison sniffled, your nose was chilly, your cheeks were probably rosing up a bit, you had always been a bit more affected by the weather versus the rest of your family. 

Allison was holding her hands close to herself as you let her statement hang in the air a moment, more interested in rubbing warmth into your face. 

“It’s okay Allison.” 

“It’s not..(Y/n) it’s not, I haven’t been the best sister but I want to change it, I want our relationship to be better, I want to do better, I can’t lose anymore family.” 

Her words were genuine, you both kept walking as you processed it a moment, the sidewalk a bit more barren than usual, you came to the conclusion that you wanted the same thing. 

You wanted a better relationship with all your family.

You mentally sighed thinking of it, the complications it could bring, but yes even him. 

You’d already made up your mind last night after running through hundreds of scenarios in your head, you needed to make an effort to patch things up with Diego after all these years, not to get back together, but rather to revitalize your relationship in a more platonic and hopefully one day familial sense. 

“I’m gonna be honest Al I haven’t been the best at this whole family thing in years either, but I want to do better too.” 

Allison took that as an acceptance of her apology and that yes, you two could work towards being closer, the quiet no longer held tension, it became warm and comforting as you both started a new path together. 

Eventually you two did come upon Vanya, she was with a man of all things, not to be rude but your sister had never so much as shown interest in men or anyone for that matter your whole lives, at least in front of you she didn’t, who knew what her years away from you all at music school had been like but this scruffy guy stuck to her side in an oddly fitting way.

“Leonard these are my siblings, Allison, and (Y/n).” 

You nodded towards Leonard, giving him a thin smile and putting your hand up in a short wave. 

“Wait a second I know you-“ 

Leonard went into a whole spiel, flattering your sister by recognizing her from a film you’d never seen the ending to, only catching it late at night after closing up the shop when nothing better was on. 

“You were in that umbrella thing, you too!” 

Leonard pointed to you but something felt off about it, maybe if was just you being paranoid but all of his dialogue felt..calculatedly casual. 

Like he was trying to come off normal. 

He’d been looking you up and down for too long. 

Maybe he was just awkward. 

You chuckled breathily

“Guilty.” You shrugged, trying to shake off the feeling. 

He parted ways with you all, but not before making sure Vanya felt good, maybe this would’ve been a good sign for a potential date for your sister, pumping up her confidence in the wake of her movie star sister should’ve been something expected if he liked her that much but you still felt weird about him. 

Allison had asked Vanya to come home for the meeting, so she’d had to cancel dinner plans, now Allison was poking and prodding like you were teenagers to find out about Vanya’s new ‘friend’ 

Vanya bit back, not feeling up to Allison’s friendly teasing, but Allison recognized she needed to apologize before trying to hop into happy sister convos with Vanya.

She warmed a bit after the apology, she was still snarky but she agreed to come back with the both of you. 

As much as you still didn’t like Vanya she was your sister, you cared, you weren’t willing to show it most of the time but you noted your concern about Leonard to yourself. 

“You guys wanna grab coffee before we head back? Need to thaw my bones.” 

“You were always thin skinned (Y/n).” 

“I’d be out of the job if I wasn’t.” 

You swiped your hand through Allison’s shoulder and she squealed. 

“Don’t do that! It puts a chill through me, you’re like a ghost!” 

You laughed out loud as Vanya spoke 

“I’d like to get coffee..if that’s cool.” 

Your mouth tasted bitter talking to Vanya but you’d just subscribed to this whole rebuilding bridges thing, Allison was right Vanya wrote that book about all of you, you’d have to forgive her eventually. 

Maybe not today.

But you could be civil. 

“Yeah it’s cool, I asked didn’t I?” 

You all discussed the shops nearby as you considered whether to sit in and call a cab or get it to go and just hail one. 

You all sat in a cozy shop, you had a caramel latte, it felt so good against your fingertips warming you up. 

“Someone let Diego know about the meeting, and Klaus! We need everyone there.” 

“I don’t have Diego’s number.” Vanya confessed. 

Allison realized that left only two people. 

“I can do it (Y/n) don’t worry about it-“ 

“His number hasn’t changed has it?” 

Allison shook her head yes, biting her lip. 

“He moved but I can give you his new land line.” 

“Thanks, I’d appreciate it, I can call.” 

Allison gave you the number and you dialed, waiting for Diego to pick up, but she informed you he lived in an actual Gym according to Luther so he might not be the sole owner of the line you were calling.

“This is Al, Who’s talkin?” 

“Oh um I’m sorry, is a Diego there?” 

“Diego? As in Hargreeves? No he ain’t here right now.” 

“Could I leave a message?” 

“This ain’t his damn office and I ain’t no secretary-“ 

“I’m sorry to bother you with this sir, it’s just our father died this week and we needed to get ahold of him for some final business and it’s been very hard-“ 

You cranked up the fake waterworks, Allison tried to snicker quietly. 

“Wait wait wait don’t go crying, I’m sorry for your loss, I can take one message but don’t make it a habit.” 

“Thank you so much sir.” 

Allison covered her mouth as your voice went immediately back to normal. 

“Could you just tell him (Y/n) called? We have to talk about Mom so he needs to come home.” 

“Alright, that it kid?” 

“Yes, thank you it means so much during this time.” 

“Yeah yeah I’ll let him know.” 

Al hung up without saying goodbye, you shot a text off to Klaus and gave Allison a thumbs up, your Uber would be picking you three up any minute now so you all stood and started to get situated. 

You hoped Diego wouldn’t mind that you’d called. 

  


Diego had gotten a call from you. 

And he missed it.

Al got on his case as soon as he came through the door, saying he didn’t clean for shit and how the whole place stank of sweat, how he was gonna change the locks on his damn door.

Diego knew Al would never do that, they had an understanding, the old guy just loved to fight with words since he couldn’t in the ring anymore. 

In the midst of his spewing he mentioned a weepy caller had left him a message.

“Some (Y/n) kid said you gotta come home, something about your mother.” 

Mom? That was the first thing that ran through Diego’s head, what could possibly be wrong with Mom? Diego said he had to go and he headed back to his car, he started speeding home. 

He said you’d been on the phone, you called him, how bad was it? 

Diego decided to calm down, if it was really serious you would’ve told Al that, he would’ve known, you also would’ve had to get his number from someone so that meant you were likely still home with the rest of the family already. 

He was just surprised that you’d reached out. 

You’d spoken these past few days but it was always Diego tailing after you, but you opening the line, that said something to him, gave him a tiny glimmer of hope that you might be warming back up to him. 

It’d only been two days of you being home but he was already driving himself nuts over analyzing every action of yours, he’d play it cool, see what was up with Mom first before asking you about anything. 

 

Diego came through the door, everyone seemed to be bustling about waiting until the whole unit was present. 

He saw you carrying some drinks with Klaus, when you saw him in the doorway you handed the remaining glasses to your lanky brother, making your way towards him. 

“Hey, thanks for coming I had to leave you a message, I didn’t know you lived in a gym now.”

“You didn’t exactly ask.” 

Your face faltered for a second but he tried to make it obvious he was teasing, you didn’t touch him or anything but you gave him a small smile, it was better than being met with hostility so he took it gladly.

“Everyone’s kinda getting settled in the sitting room, we have to have a family meeting about mom.” 

“What’s wrong with her?” 

You bit your lip, something was wrong, Diego could tell from your body language you were frustrated but just not willing to relay to him why.

“You’ll just have to see it, it’s hard to explain, cmon.” 

You waved him towards the room and he followed, everyone was gathered around a small tv that hadn’t been there before.

Diego watched the video, taking everything in several times, Luther seemed to have his own theories of a poisoning but Diego knew how he felt already. 

Mom didn’t do anything wrong. 

And if she did, Hargreeves had it coming. 

“You really think Mom would hurt dad?” 

Vanya spoke up and Luther was already speeding to talk down to her. 

“You haven’t been home in a long time Vanya, you don’t know Grace anymore.” 

Diego heard that, Luther wasn’t calling her Mom, he felt pissed and looked over his shoulder, you stood next to Allison, staring a hole into the ground with your arms crossed tightly to you chest. 

So that’s what was getting under your skin. 

“If he was poisoned, it would’ve shown up in the coroner's report.” 

“I don’t need a report to tell me what I see with my own eyes.” 

“Or what you’re deciding to see.” 

Luther gave you a death glare as you criticized him under your breath. 

“Yeah maybe all that low gravity in space messed with your vision.” 

You chuckled softly, Diego remembered back when you were kids doing something similar, building off one another when Luther wanted one of you quiet, it was a not so silent show of support. 

He was glad you were calling bullshit on this too. 

“Look closer.”

Diego rewound the tape as Luther turned his attention back to the video. 

“Dad had his monocle, Mom stands up, monocles gone.” 

Diego crossed the room as everyone realized what he’d pointed out.

“She wasn’t poisoning him, she was taking it, to clean it.” 

Diego turned off the tv to cement his statement, you and Allison were now to his right, you looked to him as if relieved, he’d found something to pull Mom away from the image Luther was creating of her. 

Luther had a habit of doing that, taking one side of a story and running with his assumptions head strong until the end, but that’s what Diego worked hard to be better at, he looked at every angle until the full picture was present. 

“Well then where is it? I’ve searched the entire house including her things she’s doesn’t have it.” 

“Her things? What, you rummaged through her skirt pocket?” 

You were angry, you knew dad treated Mom like garbage and Diego could see you were having trouble keeping your thoughts to yourself right now. 

“(Y/n), quit being difficult, we have to go over all the facts even if you don’t like it, Mom may have hurt dad.” 

“Well even if she did it’s not like he didn’t deserve it.” 

Suddenly Luther’s gaze filled with suspicion of you, Diego groaned. 

“I took it from her.” 

Luther’s accusatory expression dissolved at Diego’s confession, all eyes were on him again.

“After the funeral.” 

(Y/n) looked surprised, everyone did, Allison questioned him immediately.

“You’ve had the monocle this whole time? What the hell Diego?” 

“Give it to me!” Luther of course wanted to cling to a piece of their father, it was all part of the mystery for him. 

“I threw it away.” 

“Dee…” You weren’t upset with him, he knew your tone meant you were just sorry he was making trouble for himself, for what Luther would likely say to him. 

Diego didn’t care, he did it to protect Mom, he knew what his behemoth of a brother would do, what kind of son would he be if he didn’t want to shield her from that? 

“I knew if you found it on Mom, you’d lose your shit! Just like you’re doing right now.” 

Luther suddenly stepped towards him, Diego immediately put himself into a fighting position, he was always on edge around Luther it was like second nature to him to put his fists up around him. 

Diego saw you step towards him in his peripheral vision, you wanted to break up the fight before it started.

“Calm down,” Vanya stood beside Luther, putting her small hands out slightly at her sides 

“I know dad wasn’t exactly an open book, but I do remember one thing he said, Mom was designed to be a caretaker but also as a protector.” 

“What does that mean?” Allison asked 

“She was programmed to intervene if someone’s life was in jeopardy.” 

Luther’s took in the new information and supplied a half baked solution. 

“Well if her hardware is degrading we need to turn her off.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you-“ You looked ready the throw something rather than defuse this situation any longer, Diego’s anger matched yours immediately. 

“Woah woah woah, wait, she’s not just a vacuum cleaner you can throw in a closet! She feels things I’ve seen it!-“ 

“She stood there Diego and watched our father die!” 

Diego clenched his teeth as Allison piped up 

“I’m with Luther.” 

“Surprise surprise.” 

“Shut up.”

Diego was furious, he didn’t like being pushed into a corner, how could they all just be fine with this? Did they just forget who their Mom was? What she did for them all those years? 

“You guys are nuts if you think we’re just going to stand here and be cool with all of this, you’re not turning Mom off just because you think she’s buggy, I’m with Diego.” Diego felt a little better having vocal support from you. 

“Surprise surprise.” Luther parroted Diego. 

The two pairs looked to Vanya, she stuttered, unsure of herself, Diego grew immediately frustrated. 

“Yeah she shouldn’t get a vote.” Diego didn’t trust Vanya to begin with she was barely a member of the family to begin with at this point after what she did. 

“I was going to say I agree with you.” 

Okay, he would let her have that.

“Okay, she should get a vote, what about you stoner boy?” 

“Diego don’t talk to him like that, Klaus?” 

Klaus looked at you both like he was surprised to be acknowledged, Diego realized he’d been basically silent throughout this whole debacle. 

“Oh so what, you need my help now? Get out of the van Klaus, welcome back to the van.” 

There were deep bags under his eyes and he was talking nonsense, Diego was unsure what kind of influence Klaus could be under, he tended to be a bit fickle when he was high. 

“What van?” 

“What’s it going to be Klaus?” 

Klaus glanced at you as you stood behind Diego, you seemed to have a silent conversation, Diego felt something stir deep within him. 

He knew you kept up with Klaus, he was a stray cat that you couldn’t learn not to feed, so he understood some of that childhood closeness had to remain. 

But he couldn’t help but be jealous even if it was only for a second. 

“I’m with Diego and (Y/n), because screw you, if Ben were here he’d agree with me.” 

Diego watched his brother then hiss at the air beside him, coherent or not a vote was a vote, Diego was dominating and it felt good, Luther was getting pissed. 

“That’s four to two.” 

Diego was ready to celebrate his small victory over his brother when Allison cut through with her own observation. 

“It’s not final.” 

“What are you talking about?” You turned to confront your sister. 

“Fives not here, the whole family has to vote we owe each other that.”

“Whatever! It doesn’t matter even if he sided with you it’s still 4 to 3!” 

Your turned to Luther.

“You’re not turning our fucking mom off like some faulty television set-“ 

Diego realized you were getting ready to pounce, your were like a small animal he could always see you hiking up when you were ready to brawl. 

He put his arm across your path, you could easily phase through it but he knew it was more symbolic than anything. 

You simmered down, understanding he was saying this fight was over. 

Everyone but you two agreed you all should wait, leaving you and him alone. 

Diego saw Mom standing in the wings of the hall, you gasped as you realized she’d likely heard the whole thing. 

It broke his heart thinking she knew what could become of her. 

Diego hurried to her side, checking on her. 

“How long have you been here?” 

Mom had a far away look, she didn’t seem to know exactly what was going on but her expression was melancholy. You joined them both, you realized mom hadn’t said anything. 

“Mom? Are you-“ 

“You all seem upset, I’ll make cookies.” 

She smiled so wide like a fifties advertisement and bustled away like nothing had ever happened. Diego watched you press your fist to your mouth, trying to look away as you started to palm your face. 

Diego just watched her go down the hall as Vanya suddenly started speaking aloud. 

“Do you ever wonder..all those moments with mom..the things she said, like was it her or was it really dad?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Vanya seemed to almost shrink as Diego questioned her but she pressed on in her line of thinking. 

“He built her, he programmed her to be our mom, sometimes when I look at her I just see him.” 

Diego understood what she was saying, but Mom had always been more than that to him, over the years she developed her own quirks, her own thoughts, her love never felt artificial and he refused to believe that it was. 

“Maybe that was true at first..but she evolved.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because dad only loved himself.” 

He left the room leaving you two behind, he needed some time to think. 

 

Diego had been sitting in his room when you suddenly appeared in the door. 

It reminded him of an old memory, the way you two used to jump through hoops just to see one another. 

But now you were older, seeing how much you’d changed over the years, he wondered if it was odd that he still wanted you after all this time, even with how much you’d changed. 

But he supposed that’s what your first love was like for most people, you never truly let them go. 

Some things were still the same about you, maybe that’s why his heart remained so tender even after all your rejection, he still felt his heart skip a beat at seeing you alone. 

“So that was a shit show.” 

Diego laughed at your bluntness 

“You’re telling me, you were spitting venom out there.” 

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it.” 

You were still a bit stiff but he could feel things loosening a bit, you’d gotten out how you felt so maybe you were getting more comfortable with him again. 

“I did, I did..” 

You dug the toe of your shoe into the floor a bit before rubbing the back of your neck.

“You wanna..walk with me a bit? I’m still feeling antsy and it feels like everyone disappeared.” 

“Isn’t that your party trick?” 

You frowned at him. 

“Oh haha very funny.”

You turned completely invisible.

“Have fun trying to walk with me now asshole.”

“I can always find you, I always won hide and seek.” 

You didn’t answer him, he realized you were serious and the game had begun. 

Back when you were teenagers Diego lived and breathed for a chance at hide and seek, he’d always get his favorite prize if he could find you before you were out the door.

Usually he just wanted a kiss but if you were in an especially giving mood you’d let him choose whatever he liked. 

Now the prize was just a walk together but Diego felt just as if not more eager. 

He slipped on his coat, hiding most of his leather gear readying himself to go outside when he slipped into the hall. 

You could become completely invisible and phase through any wall but Diego knew how to see you in different ways, your steps were still the same, you’d even leave him clues. 

He saw a corner of the hall rug was folded, that told him you’d went that way. 

Diego tried to feel for any shift in the air, sometimes if you were just invisible and not phasing he could still feel your presence, just like how you could feel someone staring he could usually feel you standing. 

“Now where could you be..” 

Diego heard something down the hall, you were an expert at being light footed, you were helping him, probably assuming he was rusty after all this time. 

“Play it right (Y/n).” 

He heard you giggle before the house fell silent again. 

You were heading downstairs already, Diego knew you were about to make it the set before the main set that led to the door and rushed down. 

Diego swiped his arm low and he met your waist, you squealed as he got ahold of you. 

“Let me go!” You sounded like a kid. 

“Looks like I’m still the champ.” 

“Just because I let you be.” 

“Uh huh, and why’s that?” 

You just smiled, not answering his question.

“C’mon my jackets next to the door, we can just walk through the park a bit and turn back, I just don’t feel like being cooped up after all of that.” 

Diego agreed and you both headed outside. 

Diego felt himself falling into old patterns like he was seventeen, he knew the way to the park by heart because it used to be your space. 

After you got grounded for having an outside ‘suitor’ you were only allowed outside if you were escorted by one of your siblings, Diego pretended to be reluctant but he was your ever so willing escort.

You two always found a loophole when it came to being around one another, Hargreeves took it as his rules being followed when really you were just continuing breaking them as you had before. 

It’d been an inside joke between you two for some time after it happened, Diego always joked he was jealous of your secret love affair with this mysterious man who wrote you love notes and you’d always laugh saying you’d miss him terribly. Diego had gotten craftier writing you notes after that, hiding them in your vents or in a loose floorboard down in the bottom floor kitchen that also doubled as your siblings lounge room.

As you two walked down the path and got past a certain amount of trees he felt his hand wanting to reach out, back then this is where you’d usually begin to hold hands being completely out of sight of the house. 

But you kept your hands in your pockets. 

The brightness of the nostalgia fell away, the sky was cloudy and it was cold, Diego was 30 years old and still trying to learn how not to spend his time in the past. 

He should try to enjoy the moment with you as you were right now, and not you from 13 years ago. 

“How’s that store you work at? Books still in print?” 

“Of course dummy, and I don’t just work there anymore, it’s mine now. 

“Woah, really? How’d that happen? You blackmail the owner?” 

You swiped your hand through his shoulder, he chuckled at you and the squirmy feeling your phasing left. 

Last time Diego had seen you you’d just finally been promoted to assistant manager, now you owned the place?

“Ruth was getting too old, she knew it and I did, so she gave the place to me…” 

“Did she die?” 

“No! She’s just tired, she still lives in the loft above the shop, one day if she does pass I might move up there.” 

“If she passes.” 

“We live in a world where we were born with superpowers, who says there isn’t a possibility my favorite old lady could live forever.” 

You both got a bit quiet after that, it wasn’t awkward, you both just had a lot on your mind, you started walking next to each other rather than together for just a few moments. 

Diego couldn’t stop thinking of Moms face, she’d been starting a cross stitch when you two had left the house.

He was worried she was hiding how she truly felt, maybe she was afraid of what the others had proposed for her. 

Maybe she was breaking down. 

That’s what scared him the most, if Luther was right he wouldn’t let him forget it but the worst part was that he would likely get rid of Mom completely. 

He couldn’t let that happen. 

“Dee?” 

Diego came back to you for a moment, turning his gaze to meet yours.

“Yeah?” 

“What do you think is going to happen to Mom?” 

Diego didn’t know how to answer, instead he thought back to his thoughts from earlier of her before you’d come into his room stealing him away. 

“Do you..Do you remember how crazy everything would be before a mission?” 

You were confused for a moment he could see it in your face but you nodded anyway. 

“She’d just glide through the chaos, Mom, she’d help us out one by one until everything was just right.” 

You seemed to get lost in the memory yourself, he wondered what it looked like through your perspective, a smile found its way to your face.

“Yeah, yeah she’d always fix my hair for me, I didn’t really need her to anymore but I just liked spending time with her.” 

“That, that right there is what makes her our mother, not some program, she genuinely loved us.” 

You frowned again.

“Diego but..what if something is wrong with Mom?” 

“What you just wanna turn her off too now?” 

“Hey! I didn’t say that don’t put words in my mouth, but shouldn’t we check on her? See if there’s something we can do if something is wrong? Because if Luther finds something out before we do you know how he is.” 

“He’ll go ape shit and take his leader complex right to the moon.” 

“Exactly.” 

You both talked it over and decided to go home and see if Mom was okay, if she wasn’t you two would find a way to fix it. 

It was the least you could do for her. 

 

Mom was humming, sitting in her part of the upstairs that was full of paintings, she was stitching away at her project not quite looking up at either of you yet. 

“Diego..” 

He could see the worry in your eyes, your stomach was likely flipping itself into knots. 

“I’ll talk to her first.” 

“Okay.” 

You stood in the opening of the hall as he approached your mother, Diego wanted to be gentle but he was having some anxiety over the possibilities himself. 

“Mom, we need to talk.”

“Okay, but only for a minute, I need to finish this cross stitch.” 

Diego sighed and stood in place, trying not to look at her as he spoke he observed the paintings that had adorned these walls for years, her only place in the house was here. 

“Everything you did for us when we were kids, that you did for me, why’d you do it?” 

“Because being your mother was the greatest gift of my life.” 

That pulled at his heartstrings, he knew Mom believed that whole heartedly when she said it, but he questioned if it was the part of her that had evolved to feel that way for real or her programming starting to take over her speech. 

Diego stepped closer. 

“Is that you saying that?” Diego observed her for any indication it was really her. 

“I’m not sure what you mean Diego.” 

“I mean our father he made you, when you think something- is that like him telling you what to say?” 

“Your father isn’t here silly.” 

Diego heard you sniffle and saw you look away, leaning yourself against the frame of the hallway. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, it’s...it’s not..look. It’s okay if you hated him.” 

Diego kneeled down next to his mother, he wanted to convey his love to her, let her feel safe so she could talk to him, tell him what really happened. 

“He was terrible to you-to all of us.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“Why not? We were just tools in an experiment to him. Nothing more. So I’m saying I would understand if...you know, if—if you wanted to hurt him.” 

“Now now, Mr. Hargreeves was a great man. Industrialist, inventor, Olympic gold medalist. He made the world a better place. ” 

“Stop it!” 

“Diego!” 

Diego ignored your cry and gripped his mother's shoulders, trying to shake her out of her own train of thought. 

“Do you hear me? Stop trying to defend him! Mom, you gotta feel something..” 

Diego felt like he was begging, begging for his true mother to peek out from behind the glass of this machine.

“He treated you worse than anyone, you worked for him for 30 years. He didn’t even give you a room to sleep in.”

“But I’ve got such beautiful views here.” 

“Mom those are just paintings.” 

Diego’s mother assured him that she knew that, but she envied the girl who lived within them, she wondered if she was ever lonely. 

Diego realized in some kind of way his Mom was speaking about herself, something was wrong, he couldn’t stand to look, even as he passed you in the hall and you tried to comfort him, seek comfort from him, he shrugged you off and retreated into himself. 

He needed to be alone, truly alone this time. 

 

You felt horrible witnessing your mother like that, something was wrong with her but you didn’t know what. 

You felt yourself wanting to cling to Diego for a moment but he shrugged you off. 

He actually rejected you and you didn’t know how to feel. 

You knew he was just having a moment of heavy emotion, he couldn’t carry both of you, but the sting of him passing you up was so foreign you’d almost forgotten it. 

It’d been a long time since you felt rejected by Diego and that was when he was with Eudora. 

Your mind was all over the place you were over thinking Diego’s actions because you were in shock over Mom. 

You wanted to go to her but you didn’t want to scare her with your tears, you opted instead to go to your room to lie down. 

The day felt like a rollercoaster, you were reapproaching your familial ties with multiple siblings today, trying to rebuild a part of your past but it was starting to feel like an ill fitting shoe. 

It was alright until you actually had to walk. 

Allison had regained some of your respect this morning, you’d learned to be civil with Vanya even enjoying coffee with your two sisters. 

Something you’d never thought you’d do just a week ago. 

It boosted your confidence in reconnecting with Diego, but that was an alley you didn’t know how to walk down without turning into other territory. 

Diego used to not only be your love but your best friend, you could tell him almost anything, you did almost everything together but you lost that once you started to shut him out. 

You also lost some of those qualities when you got together. 

You forgot how to banter and play games without it becoming so charged so quickly. 

You’d even played hide and seek, you remembered how fun it used to be without also remembering it was a very prominent sexscapade from your teen years. 

Every place you’d even went had memories, the park was your spot, this whole house just held memories of your relationship. 

And even just now you wanted to be held by him, how were you supposed to rebuild a platonic relationships with someone you’d loved for a better half of your life. 

You’d spent years staying away from and getting over Diego, when he got with Eudora you promised yourself you would never seek him out like that again because you liked her, she was someone he needed and deserved. 

But a tiny voice in the back of your head kept whispering to you that she was out of the picture, that this was your chance. 

His love was addicting, you’d never truly rid yourself of the desire for it. 

You rubbed your puffy hot eyes as you tried to lay in bed, hoping for some kind of relief from your turmoil. 

 

You’d woken up to realize the sun had gone down, you felt hunger pawing away at your stomach so you decided to go downstairs to search for a snack. 

You wondered if Five had yet to arrive home, when was he going to tell everyone about the apocalypse? At this rate you only had six days left, he hadn’t even given you true details just that everyone was dead. 

Well you were dead and missing. 

But hopefully that had changed, you hadn’t gone home, your neighbor had texted you a few times that Pickle was being cared for,  Ruth had called about the store and you said she could open if she liked but you’d be stuck here for a week dealing with the details of your fathers estate, you felt bad lying to her but how else could you explain it to her? ‘Hey Ruth know you have a weak heart and all, remember how i used to be a superhero? Well i have to do that again because the apocalypse is going to wipe out all life except my time traveling brother, hope that’s cool’? 

You’d actually been using your powers this week for combat, it felt good to flex that muscle, you almost understood why Diego still did vigilante work but you knew this type of life just wasn’t for you anymore, you get with great power comes a responsibility, helping your fellow man and all that crap your dad used to preach to the media, but you didn’t ask for all that. 

You didn’t ask for anything like this in your life. 

Sometimes you used to fantasize about your birth mom, what your life would’ve been like if she kept you, maybe you would’ve still developed your powers but they wouldn’t be as strong, you could’ve been normal really, normal your whole life.

That was something stupid to be wishing for now of all times, but you’d had all kinds of nostalgic thoughts and wishes these past two days. 

You still felt groggy from your nap, you kind of had to pee, the bathroom in the hall’s light was off so you assumed it wasn’t occupied.

You walked in, flicking on the light only  to see your brother soaking and rubbing suds into his hair. 

“Klaus!” 

“Hey! Haven’t you heard of knocking? Yeesh.” 

You thanked god it was a bubble bath, you’d seen Klaus’s junk more than you would have ever liked to due to his habit of leaving the damn light off. 

You knew why he did it though. 

“Still sober?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Very fortunately, Klaus you know im proud of you each time you get clean, but im serious this time, you have to stick to your program, it’s not for me, it’s for yourself.” 

“I know I know.” 

You looked down at him in the water, you pushed your hand through his soaked locks, he responded to the contact, you knew your brother was unused to affectionate contact that didn’t have strings attached, you always tried to be kind to Klaus, though sometimes you were scared you enabled him in a way. 

Whenever he had nowhere to go you’d always let him stay with you, eventually he’d part from you doing god knew what, but for those few weeks you’d have security that he was fed and sleeping somewhere safe. 

You’d paid for his last round of rehab, knowing it might not have done him any good, he had the damn program memorized, he’d treat it somewhat like a vacation. 

But again, it still gave you a bit of security, you always worried about him most, since he was one of the few siblings you kept up with these days. 

“Are you feeling alright buddy? You said something about a van during the meeting earlier, wasn’t exactly sure where you were coming from..” 

“Luther and Five kicked me out of their van, they wouldn’t let me tag along for their little investigation, and after all I did the other day! Smashing a snowglobe on my head, especially improv! I deserved more than twenty dollars i’ll tell you that-”

“Wait what!?” 

What had your brothers been up to? 

You did feel a bit bad, everyone tended to doubt Klaus, his judgement wasn’t the best perse and hadn’t been in a long time, Klaus couldn’t really use his powers when he was high so his position in the academy had been compromised when you were teens.

You remembered how often your father scolded him, told him he was worthless to the rest of you, how he’d just giggle nervously, sometimes you think Klaus’s dependency grew from not wanting to use his powers. 

Klaus was a mixed bag like yourself, originally when you were younger you’d only known how to turn invisible, but as you grew older, more facets of your powers showed themselves, you learned how to use them because you weren’t exactly afraid, you thought it was cool, your power tended to make you a bit reckless though, being intangible used to make you feel invincible. 

Klaus could see and speak to the dead, but your father expected him to be able to do more at a point, one day maybe be able to channel spirits, let them use his body as a vessel for their past abilities. 

You’d both confessed to one another your ‘special’ attention you’d gotten from dad, your father saw it fit to tear you apart while he felt locking your brother in graveyards and mausoleums was more appropriate. 

You’d still never even told Diego about the scrambler and the rod, he’d just be pissed you kept it from him for so long, but Klaus actually benefited from it, being allowed to talk about his traumas with someone who understood what his abuser was like made him feel seen. 

“Well I’d let you in the van if that makes you feel better.”  You rested your hand on his shoulder.

Klaus gave you a small smile and put his wet hand over yours, he looked up at you giving you his usual theatrics as he waved his head at you as he spoke. 

“Infinitely, the sentiment is ever so dear, but get out of here before we have a repeat of New Years 2011 in here, I need my alone time.” 

“Ew, cool it, no need for threats, I’m out of here.”

New year's 2011, Klaus had been very drunk when you were trying to get him out of the tub, he stood up without warning and you’d wished to bleach your eyes. 

 

You turned off the lights as you left the bathroom, heading downstairs, you heard gunshots and everything happened so quickly you felt like it was almost a hallucination. 

One moment you’re standing in the doorway, then suddenly Diego is falling from the upstairs railing avoiding a hail of gunfire. 

You immediately go to the floor, it would be stupid to try to get to him right now, suddenly all your past drills somewhat unearthed in your head. 

It was better to hide and survey the area, get an idea of what was going on, before going in head first. 

So far you were only aware of two streams of gunfire, the room was full of feathers and wasted rounds, you heard your siblings briefly arguing a bit away from you, you thought it was safe to reveal yourself but suddenly everyone dispersed again to pursue the intruders. 

A large man in a mask walked into the damaged sitting room, you became invisible and allowed yourself to stand, he didn’t seem to be armed any longer.

He made a beeline for one of the many display cases your father had filled with all kinds of dangerous junk over the years, he observed a mace and chain your father had acquired from a trip to the UK, you decided now was the time to make your move.

“Hey fuckhead!” 

The masked man was obviously confused by your absence, he searched for you but you didn’t reveal yourself until you’d fully approached him. 

“Why don’t you play with your own toys?” 

The intruder was startled as you appeared to what to him seemed like thin air, he immediately swung at you, you phase through the swing with ease, instead opting to literally hop through him to climb upon his shoulders. You briefly use the man’s hip bone as a foothold as you make your way out of him, now fully solid atop his broad shoulders. 

He wailed in pain and began to thrash violently attempting to remove you from his person but you didn’t relent, you were banging on his stupid mask but it hard like a metal, you were about to phase your hand through when suddenly you realized Vanya was standing in the doorway, slack jawed. 

“(Y/n), Whats-!?” 

“Vanaya! Get the hell out!-” 

You phase the intruders body, making his feet sink into the wooden floor as you slip away once again, you rushed to Vanya, you quicken your pace as you heard the sound of splintering floorboards. 

You grabbed her wrist, you meant to push her further out of the room.

“Vanya you’re not safe here-”

Your mind was all over the place, you heard more fighting going on in the house, was there more people? Did you have time to get Vanya out yourself or did you just have to trust even in her shocked state she’d know to run? 

Your thoughts came to a halt as a crushing pain spread at the back of your skull.

You heard Vanya scream as you fell to the floor, you realized your mistake even as you felt warm blood begin to slither down your neck, your cheek resting on the ground you heard your mistakes pointed out in the voice of your father. 

_‘Tsk, You’ve forgotten how to multitask Eight, you have failed to make yourself or your sister intangible with your unorganized thoughts distracting you, her demise is on your hands.’_

You wanted to scream but everything felt underwater right now, your eyelids were heavy as you attempted to get up or crawl. 

By the time you’d stood, Vanya was already hit, she laid on the coffee table, you were unsure if she was conscious. 

That was on you, always keep your guard up even when attending to civilians, god how do you forget that? 

Damn combat training, never remembered the important stuff when you needed it. 

The blood was wet as it slid down your neck, you’d have to go toe to toe with this bastard until either he was down or one of your siblings could help. 

You had to keep Vanya safe. 

You had to put all your emotional bullshit to the side when both your lives were in danger at the moment, she was the only defenseless one here. 

You were getting sloppy as you fought, your head was pounding and your vision was blurry, it was getting harder and harder to focus on phasing.

He was actually starting to land hits on you. 

Not good.

Your face felt  like hamburger meat as he started to pummel you, nausea was rising in your throat as pain shot through your body, you didn’t realize you were falling again until your whole body hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

You were on the ground, you cursed as the masked man loomed above you, you hadn’t taken a beating like this in years, and it seemed like he was going to deal the finishing blow. 

You’d look the bastard in the face, you refused to flinch, you were not a coward like people thought, you wouldn’t let yourself die like one. 

Suddenly you assailants attention was taken from you. 

“Hey asshole.”

You heard the voice of one of your brothers, it was calm and confident, Luther came to mind but your thoughts were getting a bit foggy. 

You were still angry with your hulking sibling but in the haze of your injuries you praised him and were thankful he was there. 

 

You were fading in and out of consciousness when you heard Vanya calling out to you. 

She sounded like a scared little girl, she must have thought you were dead, honestly you felt dead, but you muster up the strength to respond to her.

You crawled towards her place on the table, whining as you drag yourself across the floor, you didn’t know the full range of damage to your body, but you still had ghost pains of the intruder’s fist making contact with your face, you were guaranteed to bruise. 

It’d been so long since you’d been actually hit by someone, it was a huge blow to your ego, even if you didn’t flex your powers everyday your intangibility was your security, you always had it. 

But one head injury took it from you. 

No, your own lack of focus, or was that dad talking? God you needed some painkillers. 

Your head was killing you as you pulled yourself next to your scared sister, in your state you couldn’t remember your anger towards her, you just found yourself cooing and shushing her as if you were kids again. 

“It’s Okay Van, you’ll be okay.” 

“(Y/n), your face-” 

Tears streamed from her eyes as she looked down upon you but you ignored it, her own head was bleeding, you kept mumbling jumbled words of comfort until you went silent, then the world went dark. 

 

After seeing Luther’s..condition, everyone seemed to go their separate ways, they’d ran off the bad guys like they always used to but something felt off. 

Why had they come here? The dog headed woman down stairs insisted they were only here for the boy. 

Five had to have something to do with this. 

Diego heard his mother’s humming as the house fell silent. 

“Oh shit..”

He hustled up the stairs to check on her, realizing she’d been upstairs the whole time, likely alone.

As he rushed to her small sitting area he realized she seem undisturbed, like a painting herself she sat with her ankles perfectly crossed, not a hair out of place as she continued to hum and needle away at her craft. 

“Mom. You okay?” 

Diego placed his hand gently on her shoulder, her humming ceased for a moment as she smiled, like she didn’t have a care in the world. 

“Of course I am.” 

Diego felt his throat tightening, he felt a bitter taste on the back of his tongue as he spoke to her again.

“You didn’t hear the noises? The guys in the mask who shot up the house?” 

“What’re you talking about silly?” 

Diego realized his mother was making an odd cross stitch, her own arm had become apart of it as the thread pulled through her synthetic skin, not taking care to realize whatever picture she had the intent of creating. 

Diego realized what he had to do, something was wrong with Mom, his siblings realized this but he wouldn’t let their solution be put into play coldly. 

He would try his best to make her feel safe, he didn’t want her to be afraid. 

He wanted to return the favor, but this felt like a betrayal, to do this to his own mother, but he didn’t know what else to do.

He felt intense pain and sadness, he held her arm gently, he looked into her eyes, her features held concern, he realized he was shaking as he gently cut open her arm, revealing her inner workings. 

“Diego? What’re you doing?” 

In a moment that pained him so deeply she was still not completely aware of the intent surrounding her, she couldn’t even feel the pain her skin should’ve felt, but he wondered if this was hurting her heart as it did his, even if she wasn’t sure how to show it anymore.

“It gonna be o-o-” 

Diego couldn’t finish the word, the ball in his throat and his stuttering silencing his tongue. 

“Remember what we worked on.” 

He couldn’t do this, he felt like a child under her gaze, still the little boy who needed her, his heart tender and tearing at the reality of what he was doing.

“Just picture the word in your mind.” 

He took a breath and tried his best 

“Its gonna be okay” He struggled “..Mom.”

He wouldn’t shed tears, he wouldn’t let that be the last thing she saw, as he shut her down it felt as if her energy was instantly fading, everything softened within her as she seem to resist, her eyes fighting to stay open.

She slurred his name as she started to finally go, his mind screamed with the wrongness of it all, how she asked one final thing of him. 

She asked him to remember. 

He didn’t know what she meant, to remember her, or himself. 

Diego wiped away his tears as the finally fell, he heard his sisters yelling downstairs, he wanted to ignore them, but he knew he had to investigate who’d broken into their home. 

He gave mom one final look before he stepped down, her slumped over form engraving itself in his mind. 

A monster had died this week, but Diego did not feel loss from it, he didn’t feel a need to mourn. 

But this was loss.

He’d just lost his mother. 

 

Diego walked down the stairs and realized all his siblings were gathered in the sitting room again, he assumed they were arguing about security or something trivial, he couldn’t bring himself to care too much after what he’d just done when he finally saw you. 

On the ground.

Was that blood?

“(Y/n) wouldn’t have taken damage like this, oh my god..What happened Vanya, help me sit them up.” 

Diego sped in, they sat you up against the couch, your head lolled to the side, you looked worse than he’d seen you in years. 

There was stains of what he assumed was your blood all around your neck and some parts of your chin, your cheek was swollen, your left eye was ringed purple and swelling as well. 

You’d never let punches like that land. 

Unless you didn’t have a choice.

“I-I walked in the room, (Y/n) told me to leave but I was in shock, I didn’t realize it was a break in, they phased the guys feet into the floor, but he broke out and I don’t think they realized it fast enough, (Y/n) was trying to push me out when the guy swung at them, they took the hit.”

Diego’s eyes trailed to the two holes in the floor and the discarded floor boards, corroborating Vanya’s account, everyone suddenly seemed to realize he was there, the room went quiet as he kneeled down next to you, Vanya got out of his way. 

The back of your head was slick with blood, your hair was shaved short at this part of your scalp so he got a better look at the wound. 

Vanya had a cut on her forehead, he assumed she was hit as well but likely at an odd angle, enough to knock her back but she’d likely been able to avoid the full force if she’d cowered or turned away. 

You on the other hand had a full impact wound, the mace spike made a few shallow cuts, the head tended to bleed more because of the blood vessels placed there, what worried Diego more was how hard you’d been hit, the weight of the weapon had likely given you a concussion. 

He heard your shallow breaths, they gave him some relief, but seeing the back of your shirt stained in your own blood, Diego felt infuriated. 

You never would have taken a hit like this unless you were distracted. 

Diego smoothed your hair and put a pillow under your head as he tried to figure out what he was going to do. 

He paced back and forth, he could feel the tension in the air, his silence was making the room unbearable, they were waiting for him to blow. 

He would. 

They just needed to be patient. 

Allison gave Vanya a small cloth to wipe her wound, she moved to tend to you but Diego’s standoffish demeanor stopped her. 

“Diego?” Allison reached out to him with caution, it set him off. 

Diego’s frustration bubbled over, he’d just lost Mom, he had to watch the light literally leave her eyes and now she just laid motionless upstairs. 

Now you laid motionless down here, he could be thankful you were at least breathing but say that hit was any harder, it could cracked the base of your skull, you would be dead. 

All because a certain someone got in the way.

Everyone could’ve been hurt, Vanya was no help to any of them, she’d gotten in your way and now you weren’t even conscious. 

“What are you still doing here?” 

Vanya looked uncomfortable under his gaze, she didn’t look him in the eye but instead watched Allison as she began wiping the blood off of you.

“I’m just trying to help.”

“No, you could’ve been killed! (Y/n)’s in pretty bad shape, how’d they get like that Vanya? Huh?” 

“Diego-” Allison tried to interject but he steam rolled over her

“Is that what your help looks like?” 

Vanya looked like she wanted to disappear, silently taking Diego’s fury as guilt danced in her eyes to a broken tune only her mind could create. 

“You could’ve gotten any of us killed.” 

Diego’s focus shifted to Allison, shed moved to sit behind you, most people would call 911 but they’d all been trained to treat worse, you’d had worse, he was just worried about you because of all the blood but your wounds had stopped bleeding, Allison was bandaging up your head and moving to lay you on the couch. 

“She is a liability.” 

Diego moved Allison away, she approached Vanya again as he took over your care. 

Allison had laid you on the couch, you seemed to be rousing a bit, your hand moving to touch your forehead.

Vanya quietly spoke.

“Allison?” 

“I think what he’s saying is this type of stuff is dangerous, you’re just-” 

“Not like you.” 

Diego noted how bitter Vanya sounded, he didn’t care to deal with her resentment right now. 

Allison chased after Vanya, Diego continued to check the work she’d done to your head to make sure everything was right. 

“Let her go, it’s for the best.” 

Allison was frustrated but Diego continued to focus on his task, he felt a lot better now that you were waking up, this was likely a mild concussion. 

The worst part was that this wasn’t your first, and this wasn’t even your worst. 

He still remembered that one, you thought a force field had been enough, but you’d been wrong. 

He held you close bridal style, supporting your neck you started to talk to him quietly as he walked towards your bedrooms. 

“Wha- What happened, where am I at? God its fucking bright.” 

Diego chuckled

“You’re at home, you kind of took a hit to the head.”

“Me? I must’ve been high or something nothing hits me.”

“Well it did, you got distracted.” 

“Shit, yeah I did, Vanya, is she okay?” 

“Yes, but she got you hurt.” 

“S’my fault, I wasn’t focused.” 

“Just hush, lets go get you a clean shirt.” 

Diego could tell you were tired and still a bit confused, he helped you get into a clean sleep shirt and softer pants. He was gonna get you in bed so you could rest, everyone thinks you’re supposed to keep someone awake or they’ll die in their sleep but this was mild, you’d only been unconscious shortly and were speaking coherently, he could let you sleep.

He didn’t want to make it weird, you’d asked for help getting dressed, he was no stranger to getting clothes off you. 

He mentally smacked himself, thoughts like that would make it weird.

You were injured, you hair was still stiff  with blood, not as bad as before, he’d helped you wash some of it in the sink, the rest was covered by bandages, but he couldn’t help but think you were cute with how sleepy you were.

You always acted kind of like a little kid when you were tired, he remembered back at your old apartment when you’d let him toe the line a bit, you’d let him lay in bed with you and you’d steal all the blanket, it didn’t matter, he’d just snuggle in close, that way you’d both be warm. 

He knew he shouldn’t think about it, he had to focus on getting you back in his life first, but a part of Diego wanted to fast forward to the part where you could both just be like that again.

Where you were close, where you’d been best friends, he lost more than the love of his life the day you truly cut him off, but also the one person he thought he could trust wholeheartedly without judgement. 

The one person he never had to hide from.

“Dee..” 

He was putting you under your covers, he could smell they were freshly washed, it made him think back to Mom and it stung all over again. 

“You need to rest (Y/n).”

“Will you lay with me?” 

Diego froze.

He saw you laying there, head wrapped and against the pillow, your eyelids low in your fatigue. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” 

“I have a concussion I’m not drunk.” 

He bit his lip, crossing his arms he sighed. 

“Just for a little bit until I fall asleep, please?”

Diego was tired, today had been a whirlwind and his body felt heavy, his heart hurt and he wasn’t sure he could play this game right now, he was getting major mixed signals from you. 

One day you’re pushing him out, then today you call him, you take his side, you take him to the park you both used to cherish. 

Now you want to cling to him for comfort. 

Diego felt his hand moving to unbuckle his harness but he lowered them. 

This was too much for him right now, he needed to talk to someone who wasn’t in this house. 

He could put up with you screwing with his feelings, he just couldn't right now. 

“You can’t do that okay? You can’t tell me no and push me away for years and then suddenly jump back in, you’re hurt right now so this isn’t the time for this conversation but you don’t know what you leaving really did to me, not really, so you can't do that to me, you can’t act like you want me when it's convenient.” 

“Diego I-” 

“Im sorry, shit, you need to rest were not going to talk about it right now, forget I said it.”

You grew quiet, you frowned and turned away from him, shuffling deeper into your sheets. 

Diego sighed as he left your room, turning off the lights. 

That part of him that wanted to fast forward was disappointed, that was the perfect in to rebuilding some of the relationships he wanted, but another part of Diego was coming to terms with the fact that you hurt him.

You hurt him bad.

All Diego had done your whole lives was give you his heart over and over, and once you’d done the same for him, but then you got scared, you left him. 

You let him back in, letting him visit your apartment, get closer and closer until he thought he’d finally had you, then you just pushed him out again. 

He moved on, his life was on track, then you came back, visited him and Eudora. 

He remembered how you said you’d liked her.

It had made him angry. 

Because he didn’t want you to like her, he never wanted you to meet in the first place, that was the stage where he thought getting over you meant never seeing each other. 

Because Diego knew how he was around you too. 

Then it was just silence, five whole years of silence. 

It wrecked him, he couldn’t hear your voice, he couldn’t see you, he’d needed you then but you ignored his calls. 

He wanted you to know you could face it together, he loved you and didn’t want some stupid book to ruin your lives. 

But it did, your relationship never truly would be the same, you’d both become different people after all this time apart even if you still remained the same in some aspects. 

Maybe it was losing Mom, maybe it was just this whole week in general, but Diego was beginning to sober up on some of his feelings. 

Diego did want closure, he did still want you, but he didn’t want to play anymore games. 

The next time he asked you to start over, to try again with him, would be the last. 

For better, or for worse.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real update this time guys  
> Again sorry about the long time no see guys but its an almost 40 page chapter so pls bear with me.  
> About a month into school now, will try to write when I can, no promise on when chapter four will he out though but I hope it's soon too

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, just getting the first chapter out hope it was okay.  
> You and Diego’s past will be explored more fully I just wanted to establish the tension there.  
> Also there is nothing other than a sibling relationship between reader and Five, he’s under age so please don’t leave comments about wanting more out of that because I will not oblige you.


End file.
